Let us dance... Let us dance!
Oh, Lord! Solve the mysteries of love...
Oh, Lord! Solve the mysteries of love
Tell us the benefits of it
I just can't fall in love, no matter how hard I try
Your eyes have finally met mine
Let us play some music and dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
I don't know whom I will fall for
And when I do, everyone finds out! Dear Lord!
Every agony gives me joy, and a purpose to live. Dear Lord!
Dear Lord!
There are lies and there are mysteries
That is what keeps the fire in love, ignited
Your eyes have finally met mine
Let us play some music and dance
Let us dance... Let us dance!
There is no problem then.
That's a deal. Bye.
Bulla, what are you singing this time?
Hey, Handsome! Hey, Handsome!
Hello. Buddy boy!
I make a promise, I keep that promise.
How are you, man? Relax...
Don't rush so much. Give me my commission first.
Then take it. Or should I call my dad to read it for you?
Why are you cursing your father?
Cursing? Let it be!
Give me the ticket, and take the commission.
Hey! Do you want my whole store as commission?
Chelsea Champion...
- And four lottery tickets with these. - Only two!
Okay.
If the Indian team gets to the finals, don't come to me.
Sir... take four.
- What's up? - Yeah, right!
Hey! I'm not that type.
I got flowers.
Why were you staring?
Strange! Did you see how she was staring?
- I'm not some creep. - Let it be. The tickets...
Bangladesh and Canada...
Who needs Bangladesh versus Canada?
I need India versus Pakistan. Hey!
Oh, no! An hour late!
Oh, blimey! An hour late!
If the house is not in the budget, we'll figure something out.
Okay, I'm getting a call from my mom who's in Bathinda.
Oh, gosh!
Eat your sandwich and get going.
I don't care if she pulls my eyes out.
Look, I touched you by mistake.
Well, I am not the clingy kind of guy.
- Never mind. - Okay, okay.
I also don't mind.
- Did I allow you to sit? - You didn't say no either.
- All those are occupied. - Hey, handsome!
Hey...
Tell me. You didn't receive it yet?
I swear by Chelsea, I sent it this morning.
What are you talking about?
I would never lie after swearing upon Chelsea.
What is your zodiac sign?
Listen, I'm already engaged.
I am here to receive my fiancé. He's coming from Birmingham.
So what? No...
What am I doing? Do you think I'm flirting?
Unbelievable! Typical Indian woman.
- Sorry. - Never mind.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Myself Ricky. Ricky Thukral.
And I'm Alvira. Alvira Khan, from Lahore.
Not the typical Indian mentality.
Thank God!
Napkin!
Take it. My best friend is also from Pakistan.
His name is Hafi.
Hafeez Pathan, business partner.
He sends me the latest Indian pictures from Pakistan.
I make a copy of those DVDs here
and sell them.
Marketing of pirated films! Wow!
As if you have never watched a pirated film.
I don't watch Hindi films.
- That's a lie! - It's true... honestly.
So, do you watch Pakistani films? They are amazing.
I watch foreign films.
French, Chinese, Iranian and sometimes Hollywood.
Sometimes Hollywood? They are so good.
That is why I quit doing that DVD business long back.
Now, I have a real estate business.
My parents love Indian films.
My dad wanted to name me Madhubala.
And my mom wanted to name me Sadhna.
Alvira is a very beautiful name.
You are flirting again.
Why would I flirt? I, too, am engaged.
Really! Look, original topaz.
I'm here to pick up my fiancée.
She is in the same train as your fiancé.
Does she have a name or do you always call her fiancée?
No, she has no name. That was such a stupid question.
What is it?
- Anaida. - Anaida!
Yes, Anaida.
So, where did you guys meet?
We met at the Ritz Hotel for the first time.
- Ritz? - Yes, the one in Paris.
The one where Princess Diana and her boyfriend had that tiff.
We were there that night.
Diana looked so hot!
I was sitting a few feet away, at a distance where I could touch her.
That is when I saw Anaida.
She was hundred times more beautiful than Diana.
She was an assistant manager at the Ritz back then.
Diana and Dodi got to the gate
and then, photographers started coming in, from everywhere.
Everyone had their eyes on Diana.
But I was fixated on Anaida.
Diana and Dodi were about to end their love story
while our love story was about to begin.
You must have heard of the saying,
"When two people in love die,
two people are born, who are destined to be together."
You were wearing a suit?
Yes.
You see... God made men.
And tailors made gentlemen.
What did I say? That God made men
and after that, tailors made gentlemen.
That's what Mr. Hafi says.
You don't seem like one who wear suits.
Unbelievable!
Such a big event was about to happen in Paris,
and all you care about is my suit!
Were you there to rent the Eiffel Tower?
We have a great antiques business going on!
We went to Paris for a deal.
DVDs, real estate, antiques... Wow!
These days, you cannot stick to just one job.
Mr. Hafi was supposed to bring the antique suppliers from Bombay.
While in Paris, I was looking after the buyers.
And these antiques were stolen, right?
Nobody was buying them in India anyway.
So what if people sold them off to make a few millions?
It is money earned purely by hard work.
Yeah, right!
Do you want to hear the rest of the story or not?
Finish your story.
What a jerk! Who does he think he is?!
I'm gonna feed his own tie to him! I'll knock his head off!
- Jerk. - Three and a half hours late!
- Jerk. - Who the fuck does he think he is?!
We waited for them for almost three hours.
And I was getting desperate waiting for Mr. Hafi to come and make the deal
so that I could go out with Anaida to celebrate.
Hafi!
Pick up the phone!
- Hello. - Hi, Ricky. What's happening?
- Mr. Hafi! - Yes.
- Where are you? - I'm stuck in Bombay.
What are you saying!
- Yes, actually. - I'll be in trouble here.
All my stuff got caught.
- I hope you didn't get caught. - No, I ran away before I could.
Have the buyers left?
No.
Everyone is right here.
Get out of there, I'm telling you. That's what we have done in life.
And handle the situation well.
I hope for you we never cross paths again in Paris.
- Or in France. - I'll never do business with you again.
If I ever see your ugly face around here....
All these French people are furious.
You fucking jerk.
I guess, they're abusing me. Hello!
Hello! I just got a call. Please don't leave.
Hello! Hello!
- Excuse me, sir. - Hello!
Your bill.
The-- please!
- He's asking for a signature. - Signature, please.
- This guy is not letting me go. - Please!
Just a minute. I don't want...
Help...
You were staying at the Ritz with empty pockets?
That guy who was supposed to come from India to sell the antiques
was supposed to finance the entire trip.
I didn't even have enough to watch some cabaret.
And where was Anaida during all of this?
I'll tell you everything.
Let me continue...
I couldn't take my suitcase, as they would catch me.
That is why I put everything in my pocket
wore all the clothes over what I was wearing, and left.
She was standing pretty close.
She got so worried seeing me
- that she said... - Are you all right, sir?
I almost died at that moment.
She was talking so sweetly while I wanted to sneak out of that hotel.
Check the air-conditioning.
Take my calls. I'll be back by evening. Okay?
Okay.
The key...
Signature, sir.
Search him!
- Search him! - I'm tired here!
Excuse me.
Yes.
Thank God we got him.
He could have stolen a lot more.
I ran his credit card: it's useless.
No credit card?
Why?
When was the last time you paid your bill?
I just paid.
The credit card company claims
you didn't pay anything for the past year.
They are lying.
Never use this card! I'm regretting it.
Well, be careful with that.
Make sure it doesn't tear.
It's a lottery ticket.
The first prize is one million pounds, and the second, a trip to Hollywood.
Assume that you're holding one million pounds right now.
Mr. Thukral, I'm sure you'll win this lottery
and become a millionaire
but you must pay this bill right now.
Ms. Anaida, look...
staying in France doesn't make you French.
There is still Indian blood running through your veins.
My parents are from Karachi.
I am Pakistani, not Indian.
Pakistani?
I thought that I was done for.
It seemed, she was out to exact revenge for her ancestors.
You Indians, I tell you!
You always are geared up to fight.
And then you claim that Pakistanis seek revenge.
- What do you mean by geared up? - Don't you know the meaning?
I'm sorry, I don't.
It means, ready. You always are ready to fight.
I am just geared up to tell you my love story.
Am I trying to fight here?
Why would you?
I'm not even Pakistani.
What?
I'm British, you know.
Oh, so you are British! No problem, then. Long live the Queen.
Where was I?
So Anaida was sitting in front of me.
And I was standing.
We've lost too much time on this fucking jerk-off!
He doesn't have a dime!
- We should call the cops. - Sure.
- What are they talking about? - Suggesting calling the cops.
No. Don't even think of doing that.
Think about it. Had this not happened
and we both had met in a normal scenario,
the situation would have been completely different.
We would have gone to the top of the Eiffel Tower
and you would have screamed, "I love you, Ricky! I love you!"
- And I'd say, "I love you, Anaida." - I said, watch it.
I'll do whatever you tell me. I'll do it.
Until the entire bill is settled, I'm yours.
Even otherwise, I'm yours.
Just follow me.
- Please stay with me. - Should I take my clothes off?
I'll be drenched in sweat, please!
Well, where is the bathroom?
Solomon... Ricky.
He can't pay.
I'm going to cut him in half!
Don't let him off the hook until he's pay off his debt.
Anaida seems quite a brute.
Hey! That's my fiancée you're talking about.
Sorry.
So, how long after starting to do the dishes did she show mercy?
- What is my name? - Ricky Thukral.
- That's right. - Rascal.
Rascal.
Let it be. Okay, try this.
- Scoundrel. - Scoundrel.
That's great, man!
Scoundrel means, my dear.
Where is Anaida?
She's sad.
Speak in a language I understand.
She's sad.
What? Why is she crying?
She's sad because the Princess of Whales died.
Today's her funeral.
- Madam? - What do you want?
Me? Nothing.
But you'd need this.
Just leave me alone.
Take it. My best friend is also from Pakistan.
I have these.
This is a special handkerchief.
It makes a beautiful face more beautiful.
See? The tears are gone
and the smile is back.
- More beautiful. - Thank you.
But why are you crying?
It's Diana's funeral.
Today?
London?
I so badly wanted to go.
So, do what you want.
Let us both go to Diana's funeral.
I couldn't get a leave.
Unbelievable!
You didn't get a leave for such an important job!
They make you slog!
By the way, when you come to London next time,
stay at my place. It is small, but manageable.
No...
I think, it'd be too small for you.
Thukral...
Do you want to go home?
If I let you go, my boss will fire me.
Believe me, Anaida. As soon as you let me go,
I will bring all the money from London and pay you back.
But what if you don't return?
I will be screwed.
I will not let anybody screw you.
Just one chance. Please!
As soon as I landed in London, I went
straight to Diana's memorial.
You went to a funeral?
I never waste even a drop of water on a dead body.
I would think so.
Mr. Hafi loved Diana.
Whenever I mentioned Diana, he would take a deep breath.
Look... I am sitting here, as if I lost my beloved.
My beloved is gone, yet I am here, alive.
- We're doomed, Hafi. - What happened?
We will have to go back to Paris to settle the hotel bills.
- Lend me some money. - Are you out of your mind?
Have we ever paid for anything that we would do it now?
No.
But today, we'll have to. Give me some money.
I said, no. Period!
Forget about it, dear. See what I have here.
Hafi...
I'm so stressed and you're busy showing me this picture.
It's not just a picture! See the back of it.
We'll go to Hollywood now.
You won the lottery.
You have won the lottery!
Your wish of going to Hollywood has come true.
We will both go to Hollywood! Hollywood!
Why are you so quiet?
- Oh, so you lost it? - No, it's with Anaida.
- Who is that? - The manager of that hotel.
- How does she look? - Very beautiful.
- I understand. - What do you understand?
I had to leave my stuff with her. She didn't even allow me to leave Paris.
That ticket was in my wallet.
I have told you so many times to stay away from women!
They always take away what's important to us.
- Get it back from her. - How?
If I go back without her money, she will have me arrested.
You will get me into trouble someday.
Hafi, must you lift your kurta everywhere?
If I move, I'll lose this place.
Here. And don't tell that girl that you won the lottery.
Now go.
Go away.
I will bring you some perfume from Paris.
Okay, bring the perfume and I will use it. Go now.
I dreamt of going to Hollywood
but it was Hafi who had financed the ticket.
But I really wanted to go to Hollywood with Anaida.
I convinced myself that she was way out of my league.
She would never agree to go with me
and I'll have to settle for Hafi.
I just wanted to pay the bills, get the ticket back. Simple!
Rascal!
We thought you'd never come back!
What did he say?
He says, he cannot believe that you actually came back.
How could I have not come back?
You had my lottery ticket.
You came back for the lottery ticket?
And also to settle the bills.
This is the entire amount, including the cab fares.
Good. Solomon.
Give me my stuff back now.
Get his things.
Why is she so furious?
Please.
Why is she angry?
I don't know.
We missed you. It's sad without you in the kitchen.
- How long are you staying? - My ticket!
- Madam! - What do you want?
- That. - What that?
The thing you're holding.
That is also mine.
It is in my hand, so it's mine.
What are you saying? It was in my wallet.
And I left the wallet with you.
- With whose permission did you go? - Yours.
What if I hadn't given you the permission?
I would have to stay here.
- Or I would have been jailed. - But you weren't.
- So? - So, this ticket is my fee.
- Fee? - To save you. How do you say?
My cut.
Goodbye.
My God! She was so clever!
I know.
So, how did you end up getting engaged with her?
Well, that is a different story altogether.
My beloved, why don't you stay back? So that I can look at you all the time!
Life is short, so stay back for some time
Life has no meaning without you
You are like the fragrant mint in my life
You are like the fire that can destroy anything
I might be in some corner of your heart
So give me my ticket to Hollywood back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood
Give it back!
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood!
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood!
Give it back
You are like the fragrant mint in my life
You are like the fire that can destroy anything
You are not on the ground, walking on clouds
Stop and give me a chance to feel you
The place you pass from, in the city
I will wait for you there all my life.
No, no, monsieur! No, no! Not that simple, just get lost
You will never get your ticket to Hollywood
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood My ticket to Hollywood
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood!
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood!
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood!
Give it back
Gimme, gimme, gimme my ticket Gimme, gimme my ticket
No, no... Monsieur, no, no No, no... Monsieur, no, no
- My ticket to Hollywood - No ticket to Hollywood
- My ticket to Hollywood! - No ticket to Hollywood
My beloved, why don't you stay back? So that I can look at you all the time
Life is short, so stay back for some time
Life has no meaning without you
It is quite stubborn and stern
This heart is so adamant
When it falls for someone, it never budges
You are the queen of France
While I am a townie
This isn't accepted in our society
No, no... Monsieur, no, it is not that simple
Get lost from here
Give me my ticket to Hollywood back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood!
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood
Give it back
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood!
Give it back
You are like the fragrant mint in my life
You are like the fire that can destroy anyone
Give it back!
Ticket to Hollywood! My ticket to Hollywood!
- Ticket to-- - Okay, enough. It's not funny anymore.
You really wished to go, right?
So, you should go.
Besides, Hollywood would suit you better.
Hafi and I won't fit in the world of glamour.
We both can just be.
Until the lottery result came out
we were excited.
There... You would take pictures there, wouldn't you?
Please send them to me. I will see Hollywood through your eyes.
Take it. Come on...
To heck with your ticket.
If you didn't want the ticket, why did you make me beg for it?
I don't want the ticket, but Thukral.
I was waiting for him to come
and to hug him.
And then, he'd kiss me.
Hey!
How many more Thukrals do you know?
Only one stupid, idiot, moron Thukral.
The one who came back for the ticket and not me.
What are you saying?
Just go away!
Don't be angry, please.
I did come back for you.
I had planned that we would go to Hollywood together.
So, why didn't you ask me?
You are just
out of my league.
You would mind if I had even touched you.
But I didn't mind using your handkerchief.
I only got more beautiful.
There will be only one bed there, and two of us.
I can adjust.
It's only for seven days.
Just seven days.
I was thinking of adjusting for all my life.
For my entire life.
Okay.
What are you saying?
I'm saying, I love you, idiot.
I love you, Anaida.
You sacrificed your ticket for her?
The moment she said "my cut," that was my turning point.
I had decided that she is my type.
I could sacrifice my life for her, let alone a ticket.
Really! I must commend.
- What? - You are a romantic.
Nice!
A while back,
you weren't even ready to share this table with me, and now...
- Now what? - Now...
It's your turn. Tell me!
When did you first meet your fiancé?
Now don't be a gossip girl.
So, it's arranged.
The guy is from Birmingham, with a good five-figure salary.
What are his hobbies? Cricketer...
Rubbish!
It is not arranged?
Superman got us together.
Does he own a comic-book store?
Have you been to Madame Tussauds' Wax Museum?
Of course, I have.
There are models of so many Bollywood celebrities there.
Mr. Gandhi, Mr. Nehru, Ms. Indira, Ms. Aishwarya, Mr. Amit...
Amitabh Bachchan, you see.
There aren't any of your Pakistani celebrities there.
Anyway. So you went to Tussauds'.
I went with my cousin Humaira.
Madam Tussauds had a superhero-special program--
Batman, Hawkman, Aquaman, Superman...
There were huge models of all of them.
Humaira, my cousin, was jumping around, looking at them.
Sister, take a picture of this.
Sister, take a picture of that.
Watch out!
Had the good-looking statue fallen on me,
I would have been dead.
But the true hero came to my rescue.
I really wished to kiss him right away
and to propose.
Did you kiss him?
You didn't say "I love you" either?
I couldn't.
When I was six, I took an oath.
Dear God, I will never fall in love
with an Indian or Pakistani.
Please find me
a white, British guy just like you. Amen.
Sorry, I'm on the phone.
Yes, this is Steve.
Bollocks!
I've already said, I don't want this case.
Don't ever call me again.
Your name is Steve?
Yeah.
But you look...
Mom's British, and my father is Punjabi.
Ouch!
- My foot hurts! - Left or right?
Both.
Did it really hurt that much?
No, silly.
Steve would have left, had I not made that excuse.
Nice! I would have done the same.
But you had taken an oath, right?
He is half British at least.
I can compromise a little.
I must commend.
- Drink something? - I'd like a Pepsi.
Not Pepsi, actually.
A 7-Up.
Actually, Tango. And chips,
cookies and that chocolate.
I was praying
that this Humaira should just disappear somehow.
I was getting such a lovely foot massage.
He had magical hands.
He had such delicate fingers
but such strong arms.
He came to drop me in my bedroom.
He was forcing Michelle to dance.
- Michelle? - That's her name.
Michelle didn't want to dance
but he insisted.
I stopped him.
So, he hit you so hard?
Just a scratch.
His plastic surgery is still going on.
Then, Michelle and you-- I mean,
are you married to her
- or are you still dating? - She wasn't the one.
Your parents are amazing.
He went straight into your bedroom, and they didn't even mind?
Why would they mind? He saved their daughter.
They thought he was the perfect one for me.
Really?
That rogue met you less than an hour before
and you were already dreaming of marrying him.
- Rogue? - It's true.
He had such a huge scar on his face.
Obviously, he was a rogue.
Forget it. I won't continue my story.
Okay, sorry. You get into so many minute details.
Those are the most fun parts.
How we saw each other, what he said...
how he touched me...
- Where he touched me. - Who said what?
Good night. Don't let Superman bite.
Good night.
Darn it! Phone number.
Steve... Steve!
Hey, Steve! Hey, at least give me your phone number.
Please!
Where would I have looked for him?
There are thousands with the name Steve in London.
The next day was a wreck!
But when I reached home the next evening...
I'll get it.
- Hello. - Hi.
Hi. Thanks for the flowers and the chocolates.
- Can you walk all right? - Just about.
Then, perhaps you need another foot massage.
My car's waiting.
- Bye. - Bye.
Wow! Ouch!
You're laughing at me! I was in so much pain.
It's because you lied.
- If you lie... - It turns into the truth someday.
So, you may lie by all means...
but only to such an extent that you can tolerate it when it turns true.
That's what Hafi says.
Did you go there, crippling?
I did reach his office somehow
but as soon as I entered that place, I was awestruck.
I'm no beggar
but this man looked wealthier than the prince.
With just a snap, women would line up for him.
I was scared for a second, but then I thought
that I will deal with whatever the situation.
- Hi, Al. - Al?
How do you know?
Friends call you Al.
Your parents call you Allo.
- Allo is cute. - Please!
It sounds like a fat cat's name.
You work at the House of Fraser as a manager.
Every morning, before going to work,
you visit the church. A five-minute prayer.
Five minutes. No more, no less.
This guy is a cop or gangster?
Are you a gangster or a cop?
- I never committed a crime. - You did.
You made me fall in love with you.
What do you do in such a huge office?
Let me guess. Blackmailing!
Pretty close. We are lawyers.
Singh and Smith and Company.
Are you Steve Singh of Singh and Smith and Company? Wow!
You are so...
- Horrible? - And young, too.
By the way, what's the deal with these photographs?
I hope you haven't taken them to decorate your house.
Not a bad idea.
Steve!
Okay, look. This company has a board of directors.
Are you with me? Good.
Now, the board has decided that I propose to you.
Propose?
- But how do they know about us? - The board knows everything.
Okay!
I don't care on whose orders you propose to me.
You may propose whenever you want.
I'm ready.
The proposal is that you should sue Madame Tussauds
because of the Superman accident
and hire me as your lawyer.
But you don't necessarily have to accept this proposal.
I've done my duty.
I will tell the board of directors tomorrow
that you denied.
But why don't you want me to sue Madame Tussauds?
If I wasn't in love with you,
I'd love you to.
In seconds
I would've gotten you to sign the papers.
Within days
I would have used you as a client,
made a lot of money from this case and dumped you.
If I wasn't in love with you.
How much money would you have made?
- About a million. - A million pounds!
A million pounds!
Champagne or juice?
Okay.
Champagne or juice?
I accept your proposal.
Al-- can I call you Al?
Al, you don't have to get involved in this.
But I want to get involved.
You saved my life
and if I can help you with something,
it's the least I can do.
- A simple girl like you... - Who says I'm simple?
Come on, let's fix the deal.
If we win, you can take your commission from the compensation.
And if we lose, you will lose.
Smart girl!
That's what Steve said.
Smart girl!
Okay. Deal.
- To Superman. - To Superman.
This isn't the right time.
Why? It's 8:30.
- Is it early for you? - Ms. Khan.
I'm your lawyer and you're my client.
Our relationship should stay professional till we win the case.
Until then, let's stay away.
- I must commend. - Really?
Really! Absolutely.
How did he stop himself at the last moment?
It cannot be done by everyone. You need to have a strong heart.
This is a true example of self-control.
This is a true example of class.
Just look at her! My client.
Does she want riches?
No!
Does she want revenge?
No!
She wants your compassion,
your sympathy...
and my love!
Hey, stay away from the kiss of love!
Your beautiful eyes are driving me crazy
Kiss of love! Kiss of love!
My stars are not favoring me now
Kiss of love! Kiss of love!
Your beautiful eyes are driving me crazy
Kiss of love! Kiss of love!
My stars are not favoring me now
Kiss of love! Kiss of love!
Whenever I look into your eyes...
Hurray! Hurray!
It takes my breath away
Hurray! Hurray!
Whenever I look into your eyes
It takes my breath away
Stop it already! Stop looking at me with those mesmerizing eyes!
Kiss of love! Kiss of love! Stay away from the kiss of love!
Oh, my dear heart
Why do you always crave romance?
These nights seem so long
When I wait for you to come
You have no idea how much I dream to be with you
I cannot sleep, I stay up all day and all night
- When you blink - Hurray! Hurray!
- The sky begins to - Hurray! Hurray!
Stop it already! Stop looking at me with those mesmerizing eyes!
Kiss of love! Kiss of love! Stay away from the kiss of love!
The English Court of Law decides the case in favor of Ms. Khan.
I have a request for you
It is your duty
To check how I am doing
This love can be fatal
Don't look at people that way
They will fall in love with you
Trust me, history repeats itself
- When you blink - Hurray! Hurray!
The sky begins to fall
Hurray! Hurray!
Stop it already! Stop me with those mesmerizing eyes!
Kiss of love! Kiss of love! Stay away from the kiss of love!
Stay away... Stay away... Stay away from the kiss of love.
Kiss of love! Kiss of love! Stay away from the kiss of love!
Stay away... Stay away... Stay away from the kiss of love
Kiss of love! Kiss of love! Stay away from the kiss of love!
Hey, stay away from the kiss of love!
- Then, you both... - Got engaged.
No, I mean, did you guys do...
Did you both have sex?
- We made love. - Oh!
Good. That's nice.
- But he is a little dramatic. - He is better than you.
At least he doesn't have
to think twice before buying flowers for his girlfriend.
He is a bigger miser than me.
Why didn't such a millionaire simply take a flight here?
- Why did he take the train? - It is because of his work.
There is a case with the British Railways.
He needs to do some investigation for the same.
Really? Now, it is the turn of the railways, is it?
What?
Let us assume he is not a miser
but he is a lawyer.
- Be careful. - How can you judge him?
You haven't even met him.
He won't change if I meet him.
But your opinion will.
All right, then. I will meet him.
Just another hour to go.
Oh, blimey! I need to run.
The train must have arrived. You took so long to complete your story.
It was because of your constant interruption.
- Let us not fight. - Okay.
Go ahead, I'll bring a doughnut.
- Doughnut? - Yes, for Anaida.
She must be hungry.
- That's very sweet. - I got class.
- Bye. - Bye.
When did this train get here?
Half an hour ago.
But this was an hour late.
It left on time from Manchester.
Manchester? What about the train coming from Birmingham?
Another hour late?
It's an hour late.
- Darn! - Blimey!
Coffee?
Only coffee.
I'll enjoy a doughnut with that.
No. I don't mean that.
Only coffee and nothing else.
- You know... - I know. I love Anaida.
So? I love Steve.
He sounds like a cheater.
No... Only coffee.
Your eyes
Have finally met mine Let us play some music and dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Yuck!
She was good. Why are you saying that?
Not her! You are terrible.
You are worse than my neighbor.
What does he do?
He stays in the house in front of mine.
Whenever I enter my room, he looks at me through a telescope.
You must do something to entice him.
Me?
Yes! Yes!
Yes!
I don't do anything.
- Let's play a game. - Count me out.
You will do something that you have never done but I have.
Then I will do something that I have never done but you have.
I have done everything.
Your turn first. Come.
I'm not going anywhere.
Play right here
in front of everyone.
Hey! I'm not some kind of creep.
I got class.
If I had to kiss you, I'd have asked you.
Unbelievable! You-- let it be.
Enjoy your coffee and newspaper.
Sorry! Sorry.
You need to walk up that escalator.
But that's for coming down.
So? Haven't you ever done that?
I have! Many times!
Come on, that's the game.
- This is crazy. - I don't bother for it.
Okay. Hold this.
Begin!
- You've gone crazy. - Mind your own business.
This escalator's coming down.
Really? I didn't know.
- You'll hurt yourself. - Hey, keep your mouth shut.
- Idiot! - Moron.
Not bad.
Hold...
Okay.
Okay. My turn next.
I'm ever ready.
- Have you got a tattoo? - No.
Have you?
Liar! Show me.
I can't. It's here.
Until I see it,
I won't get one done.
You are too much!
Hold this.
A little higher.
Look at this.
You have seen it now. Are you happy?
- But what is it? - Butterfly.
Really? Show me again.
You wish! Come on.
Come on, get done with it.
Boom Shankar!
Imagine:
what if we weren't engaged to anyone
and Anaida and Steve would have met in the train?
Suppose they did meet on the train.
They must have had coffee together and would get talking.
What do you think? Would they have liked each other?
Would they have fallen in love?
Then Steve would be Anaida's Ricky
and Anaida, Steve's Alvira.
But where would Ricky and Alvira end up?
Are you trying to flirt with me? And why are you taking names?
- Just say you and I. - Okay, fine. Okay.
If we met, just casually,
and Steve and Anaida weren't in the picture...
what could happen then?
Tell me.
- Porter! - The train is here.
Let's go... Come on.
I will bring the radiance of the moon for you
And use that to adorn you
I will bring the radiance of the moon for you
And use that to adorn you
If I feel shy, embrace me
I can feel your breath with mine
Say it... Say it!
Say those words of love Say it!
Say it... Say it!
Say those words of love Say it!
- This is the Taj Mahal. - This is red in color.
It is the same Taj, someone just colored it red.
Tell me the name of this monument, or I'll leave.
It's Humayun's Tomb.
I didn't have enough money
to take you to Agra to show you the real Taj. Sorry.
Hereon, this tomb is the real Taj for me.
It is as beautiful as our love for each other.
Come, let us spend this night without any sleep
Share your dreams with me
And I will do the same
I do have this one dream
Which is as beautiful as the moon
Even the skies have been yearning
To see you since so many nights
Say it... Say it!
Say those words of love Say it!
Say it... Say it!
Say those words of love Say it!
Before entering the Gurudwara,
we must cover our heads.
Even in a Durgah.
Oh, Lord!
One must wash his hands and face before entering the Gurudwara.
Even before entering the Durgah.
Yours...
Don't you get a sacrament in a Durgah?
You get blessings.
My prayers are for you.
Your love is for me.
It took ages to say
The few words of expressing our love
That one day seemed like a century
And that one night didn't end soon either
How would it feel if the two of us
Spent years of togetherness in a few moments?
Say it to me... Say it to me!
Say those words of love Say it!
- Taj! - Yes.
It's Humayun's tomb.
It is as beautiful as our love.
There are no questions or compromises in this love.
It is pure, everlasting love.
Marry me.
Then, every wedding anniversary of ours
will be celebrated here.
Every year, right here?
Yes, indeed.
I accept, then.
I will bring the radiance of the moon for you
And use that to adorn me
If you feel shy...
Embrace me
I can feel your breath with mine
Say it... Say it!
Say those words of love Say it!
Say it...
Say those words of love Say it!
So, tell me.
What would have happened if Steve and Anaida weren't there?
What would have happened?
There would be war.
You're right.
There would be war.
There was no other option.
No chance!
The train coming in from Birmingham
has arrived on platform number 3.
Sorry for the inconvenience.
This train arrived quite early.
Early? It has arrived after a two-hour delay.
I know, but...
it still seems, it arrived early.
What do you mean?
You should bring those doughnuts you were talking about.
Bye.
Listen... Listen to me!
- You don't have my number. - Why should I have it?
Take it. May come handy!
You're flirting with me, is it?
Marketing!
Okay.
My number is 7-9-0-2-6-5-3-2-4-1.
If you ever need a lawyer...
As if I wanted to sue someone.
Take it. May come handy!
Bye.
Jajjan, make me a cup of tea.
- I'm almost there. - Yes.
Where?
I've been waiting for two hours now.
I'm at the station.
I couldn't have waited at the platform, right?
Lie? Why would I lie?
- Have I ever lied that I would lie now? - Okay, I'm coming.
Don't worry, my love. I'm coming.
- I was coming right to you, Mr. Hafi. - What is wrong with you?
Where were you?
I should be asking you that.
- Hello, Auntie. - Were you following Karachi time?
- We're in England now. - Hi, Humaira.
- How was the train? - How are you?
I'm absolutely fine.
- Let me introduce you guys. - I'll take it.
- Are they the ones? - Yes.
What do you say?
- Let us go. - Sure, come on.
Let's go.
- So, how are you? - I'm doing all right.
- Hang on, let's have tea first. - Not here.
- Five minutes won't do any harm. - It will.
Really?
Okay, since he insists, we should leave.
Tea.
- What? - Tea.
Let them have tea.
- We should leave, come on. - No, don't do that.
This will tarnish your name in the market.
Don't let that happen.
Guys, he got some news that there is a raid here at the station
and they're hunting for people like us. Let's go.
You guys can come to London from Birmingham by yourselves
but not from the station to home.
Next time, I won't be coming to receive you guys.
Shahriyar is coming tomorrow from Birmingham.
You two are getting married.
What?
Now don't start jumping with excitement.
- The wedding is not tomorrow. - Take this.
- I can't, sister. I'm tired. - Hold it or I'll spank you.
Hello, Neil. Where are you? It's a crisis.
Please come home soon. I'm in love.
This old mate called love always puts me in trouble.
Dear Lord!
I always save it, but my heart falls for someone, always.
Dear Lord!
When someone comes close to me and I like them
My heart skips a beat
Your eyes have finally met mine
Let us play some music and dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
The hunger of the hungry does not depart
despite receiving all the valuables in the world.
Man may possess thousands of wits
but not even one goes with him
How can we be true’
and how we be righteous?
That can only be done
by obeying the orders of the Almighty.
Hafi...
I'm in love.
She is an amazing girl.
That is why she is already engaged.
You tell me what to do, then.
Show me a way.
- Ricky, you... - It squeaks.
- No problem, we'll oil it. - What if it squeaks again?
- We'll oil it more. - What if it still squeaks?
We'll put you and your partner in oil and set you on fire.
- Ricky, relax... - What nonsense, Hafi!
They pay minimum rent, and expect services of a hotel.
This is the limit!
Hey, enough... Now get out.
We don't even show people houses for that long.
If we want you to rent it, we'll call you.
We will.
- Where did you bring them from? - Bathinda.
What are you saying?
They cannot be from Bathinda.
Ricky, darling, please relax.
How can I relax?
He is engaged to someone.
Even if he wasn't engaged, what good would you have done?
He's under the impression that you're engaged.
You're amazing, aren't you?
Even if you were really engaged,
you shouldn't have told him.
Oh, gosh! He looked dodgy at first.
I lied to avoid him.
She wasn't even willing to let me sit by her.
When I told her I was engaged, she agreed.
I swear, Hafi, the story I made up was amazing.
- You were part of the story, too. - Amazing!
- But he must be ugly. - And he tries to act too smart as well.
But he is so romantic.
- He is so romantic... - Hey!
Stop this. This is a dead-end.
How am I supposed to know
that after spending just two hours together,
I would want to marry her?
Well said, darling. Well said.
- There would have been no problem. - Yes.
- Had I met her earlier. - You're right.
- Hafi... - Yes, darling.
- Why didn't we meet earlier? - Ask her, when you meet her next.
And listen, take it forward only if he calls.
Sorry.
I'm breaking that Indian-guy promise today.
You understand, don't You? He isn't that dark either.
He is wheatish.
Anyway, You know it all.
Help me, please.
Amen.
Yes! She'll go crazy about me.
She'd want to spend the rest of her life with me.
First, she didn't answer your call
- and then turned her phone off.- Hey, handsome!
Hey, handsome!
There is a call from Punjab and...
I have called in Punjab. Your job will be done.
My guy is in Punjab.
He will do it--
I'm in Punjab! I'll talk to you when I meet you.
Come on, my boy.
Don't cry.
I will bring you another toy.
I want the same one.
You will see.
Really?
Because of you, I will get fired.
Get me a job at your showroom.
Then, I will listen to your love story, whenever you want.
- Ricky called me. - No! What did he say?
I don't know. I forgot to turn my phone on after leaving the church.
Idiot! Call him back.
Hey, handsome.
Answer the phone.
Hey, handsome.
I'm in New York. Call me after two days.
Ricky Thukral, this is Alvira Khan.
With a little attitude...
Remember that she had not answered your call.
- Alvira who? - He doesn't recognize me.
- He says, Alvira who. - Hang up, right now.
Yeah, right.
- Hello! - Oh! Alvira Khan!
Well, you know what?
I keep getting calls from girls all the time.
I called you by mistake.
The number you gave me had another number written next to it.
I just got mixed up.
Well, doesn't seem like it.
You asked for me when you called me.
Actually, Steve wants to see you.
- Steve? - Yes, he's quite anxious to meet you.
We just had coffee together
in front of everyone, not discreetly.
What are you talking about? Steve is not the jealous kind.
He wants to meet you, just like that.
Oh! Like that?
- Good. - Yes, like that.
You and your fiancée.
- What was her name? - Anaida.
He's right here, with me.
- He? - I mean, she.
When I'm in a very loving mood,
I tend to make such mistakes.
- We are eating Chinese. - Good, enjoy lunch then.
Well, tell Steve that I am busy today.
We shall meet some other day.
No problem. Now that you're with Anaida,
- you must be stuck. - Not really.
That's not the case.
Steve is special, I can make time for him.
But...
Tonight
Anaida and I are going to Jharokha for a dance competition.
Even Steve and I are going out for dinner tonight.
You know, candle light, soft music and all that.
I see. All that?
Well, we both love art and music.
- Great! - Anaida dances really well.
Really?
Steve has been asking me to go to Jharokha.
He is curious to see
what the South Hall crowd does there.
- They detonate bombs. - Sorry?
It is obvious that we'd dance at a disco.
Then, we'll drop by, after dinner.
Let us see how well you dance.
- Are you coming then? - Maybe.
It is done!
She's coming to meet me at Jharokha tonight.
You idiot! Not just you.
She is coming to meet Anaida too.
Don't be so gloomy.
Make an excuse about tonight.
Have a kebab for now. Lateef!
Make a plate of seekh.
- Coming your way! - Hey!
- Hafi... - Yes?
I'm craving to meet her.
You seem quite serious today.
Fine, meet her.
Let's come up with an excuse for Anaida not showing up.
Tell her Anaida's mother died.
- Died? - Yes.
Anaida's mother died
and I'm busy meeting her at a dance competition.
Now will you dance with me, Alvira?
- Think before you speak, Hafi. - You didn't think before lying to her!
You should have described someone we know.
That way, we would have brought the same looking person.
That's what I did.
But she won't agree to be Anaida.
Who is that girl? Let me talk to her.
- No, you might hit me after hearing. - No, I won't. Tell me.
Laila.
Oh, Laila!
Laila?
- Our Laila? - She is beautiful.
So, why do you stay away from her?
Well...
I don't like paying for it.
Here! Call her.
No, you talk to her.
Lateef, how long does it take you to make some kebab?
- Are you not done yet? - Have patience, Hafi.
Hey, hurry up! What is taking you so long?
Everything will be fine. Don't worry.
Give my regards to her.
Why did you say that Steve is anxious to meet Ricky?
He didn't recognize me!
How could I have said after that? That I am the one who's anxious?
You shouldn't be. He is coming with his fiancée.
I want to see that dodgy Anaida just once.
She's the one who has trapped my Ricky.
- Your Ricky? Are you out of your mind? - Yes.
Then, go. But do you want to get there hours before they arrive?
First, I need to go to your showroom to meet Steve.
I need to convince him.
Steve?
- At my showroom? - Yes!
Come on, now.
- Satvinder, sweets, I've been waiting. - My turn, Satvi...
- My eyes still hurt, Satvi... - Get your hands off him...
You try removing them.
- Oh, yeah? - Don't look at these two.
I'm here for you...
Look at me.
- All right, bitch! - Will you...
Ladies, please!
I am crazy and moronic! Oh, Lord!
I couldn't even figure out that...
My mom always says,
good girls don't fight.
She loves me!
She has fallen for me!
Oh! Are you crazy for Satvinder too?
No way!
You always keep talking about Satvinder.
So, I was also thinking of him.
You are lucky.
- Oh, Satvinder! - Steve.
He's my guy, okay?
Satvinder, look what happened to my glasses.
Where are they?
Silly me! I looked everywhere
but they were right here.
Please test them thoroughly.
My mom always says
if you care for your glasses,
the glasses will care for you.
I've cleaned them. They are fine.
My mom says
you should always put things back in their place.
That's amazing, ain't it?
My mom says the same thing.
There you go.
I have done it, for your mom.
- Have a nice day. - Sattu!
What do you want?
I don't want anything.
She needs your help.
How can I help you?
It's one little task. Simple, isn't it?
You mean, your eyes are fine?
But this is a bigger problem than that.
Help me.
Lying is bad.
If my mom finds out, she'll be mad.
We won't tell her.
She finds out everything.
- Is she your mom or the CIA? - CIA.
Your eyes are fine. There is no problem.
There is a huge problem.
Thanks for coming. Have a nice day.
Okay.
I must say, you are very brave.
Only brave kids follow their moms these days.
I'm not a kid. You can't fool me.
- Oh, gosh! Ouch! - Oh, no!
- My leg. - Left or right?
Both! They hurt terribly!
Anybody out there?
This man is carrying me away.
Don't worry. I'll take you home.
He's going to take me home.
- Let me go! - How will I take you to the taxi?
He's going to rape me in the taxi!
It's a rape situation.
Put me down, you molester!
You are so bad!
I'm pressing charges against this man.
No! No! Wait...
Neil, show this tape to your manager.
- Listen to me. - Tell me.
- I hate you! - Neil.
Okay, I will do it. I will help you.
But I still hate you.
- So sweet, Sattu! - Steve.
Steve.
Ronny, you pig, give my damn breakfast!
Breakfast, at this time?
Are you my pimp
keeping a tab on my expenses?
I was just...
No!
Here.
- It's a screwy job, man! - I know. And I will pay.
You bet your ass you'll pay, but double.
All right. Double it is.
So, the deal is done.
You just have to polish yourself a little.
- Do you think I'm a carpenter? - Look...
- Please don't use curse words. - Why?
Because Anaida doesn't.
She may not! I don't care.
- Who is this Anaida anyway? - You are.
Anaida.
I will not change my name from Satvinder.
- Neil! - I can go by any other name.
- What is in a name? - So, what is your name?
Superman.
I fixed it after so much effort.
If you touch it too much, it will come off.
Oh, God! What a mess I have gotten myself into!
Stop biting your nails.
- I hate you! - Good.
Mom, where are you?
Whatcha' saying! Limousine!
If we're competing with that guy,
we must match his status, am I right?
By the way, don't mind, but we'll take the tube back, okay?
Come.
- Gently, please. - You pig! We're paying you, right?
Just shut up and drive.
Why are you so scared now?
Because of all the cursing you're doing.
Even if you want to, do it in English.
- But your Anaida is French. - English will do too.
No, no...
Honey, my love,
we're gonna have fun.
Have you been to Paris?
Darling, in our profession,
we don't have to travel.
But people from all over the world come to us.
You name it, and I'll nail that accent.
- Japanese? - No...
For now, France will do,
but keep a watch
on the cursing.
Hello to all the ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to Jharokha.
Let's see if you can shake those bloody legs a little faster
for Mr. and Ms. South Hall.
Hey! Aren't you Tejinder's son?
Even your father breaks into queues like this... Buzz off!
You're so cute.
Here's your number. Stick it on your back.
77? My lucky number!
Oh, God! Such a cheesy crowd!
It seems, all my mom's friends have gathered in one place.
Don't worry. No one will recognize you.
You look very different.
- Ms. Pinky! - Behave yourself!
Do you want me to call Neil again?
I hate you!
- Shabbo! - Shabbo! Shabbo!
Hello!
A warm welcome from Shabnam, that is me.
Shabnam, we can't hear you!
- There's no sound. - Shabbo, turn the mic on.
- Rules! - Okay.
- One, two... One two... - Shabnam, now we can hear you!
Naughty boy.
It's Friday night, try to understand.
Just chill for tonight.
The whole staff has gone back home.
The booking has been done in advance.
I cannot send the fridge right now.
Don't you get it, you moron?
I promise, you'll get it early tomorrow morning.
Just bugger off!
The fans of romance...
The cursing...
Shabnam.
And this year, the winning couple will win an exciting prize!
A seven-day paid holiday trip.
- Do you know where? - Jalandhar!
- No... - Amritsar?
No!
Seven days in Hollywood!
- Oh my God! - What? What?
This Anaida is gorgeous!
- What did I tell him? Look... - Oh, my, my!
This Steve guy is so handsome!
Really?
- I don't think so. - Hold my hand.
Not my elbow, my hand.
I cannot tolerate it.
Share your patience with me.
If I had any, I'd have shared it with you.
I don't have any left.
Let's go.
Why? Why there? The exit is this way.
To dance, Steve.
Where did they go?
Enough talking, now let's dance.
- Round 1! - Let's dance...
Let's dance... Let's dance!
Let's dance!
Let's create an explosion...
Let's rock this place
Lose the jack of spades
You're the king of the pile
- Let's create an explosion... - Let's rock this place
- Lose the jack of spades - You're the king of the pile
Let's create an explosion... Let's rock this place
Lose the jack of spades You're the king of the pile
Let us dance in joy, tonight
- Play any music you want... - But you must dance
- If they move once... - You should move ten times
Reach all the notes of music
And dance to that music Let us begin to sway!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
There is mischief
In this love and romance
There is romance between these four people
There is a lot at stake
Everything we love is at stake
- Play any music you want... - But you must dance
- If they move once... - You should move ten times
Reach all the notes of music
And dance to that music Let us begin to sway!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
I thought you guys were only going to drop by. What changed?
This guy here insisted that we should dance too.
Really?
He still hasn't changed his mind.
We haven't been introduced yet. Myself Ricky.
- Sat... Steve! - What?
- Anaida! - Alvira!
So, tell me, Sat-Steve.
How much did you charge the British Railways?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Mom says, buying tickets everyday burns a hole in the pocket.
So, she bought me a monthly pass.
Steve! The day you buy a monthly pass,
I'll buy myself a privet jet. Stop kidding.
For how many millions did you settle the case?
Millions? You can't even spend ten pounds.
You didn't even buy Anaida an engagement ring.
Ricky did give me a ring
but it was huge!
It didn't fit me, so...
- So, I wore it here. - Ouch!
Mom says, if you pierce your bellybutton, it hurts like hell.
No, monsieur. Go on, put it back.
No hurt, no pain.
She loves me. I'm in her arms all the time.
- In her arms? - Yes.
Your fiancée is flirting with my fiancé.
Won't you stop it? Will you just be a spectator?
I won't! How dare you touch her, Steve!
Swearing is bad.
- Why are you screaming at Steve? - Who else should I scream at?
- Talk to Anaida first. - It's not her fault.
- What did Steve do, then? - He touched her.
- Why did you let her? - He's a lech.
- And she is a-- - Hey? What about me?
- Round 2! - Round 2.
Tension's rising! It's getting hot in here!
- I'm sweating! - Let's go.
And now, only these couples left to dance.
- Dance... Let us dance. - Let us dance! Dance! Dance!
- Let us dance! Dance... Let us dance. - Let us dance! Dance! Dance!
Let us dance!
JBJ in the house. JBJ in the house.
We span it...
We span the world with our moves
We span the world and put the moon at stake
Mysteries have begun to resolve
And everything precious is at stake
- Play any music you want... - But you must dance
If they move once, you should move ten times
Reach all the notes of music
And dance to that music Let us begin to sway! Sway!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
It's the final round at Jharokha.
So keep your turbans tight and your pajamas high.
The Moulin Rouge of Punjab brings you two couples.
It's number 77 and number 99.
I didn't say this in front of Ricky because he might have felt bad
but you have a loose character.
And you have a loose screw.
The joke is as terrible as the lipstick you use.
Joke? It was a fact.
You will destroy Ricky's life.
He's an Indian while you're a Pakistani.
He's so cool while you--
home-breaker, man-chaser and...
you don't even know Hindi.
I know Hindi, you bitch.
That's it? Is that all you know, you tramp?
- Wench. - Pig.
- Witch! - Bloody witch!
- To heck with you. - Bimbo!
- How dare you-- - Hey!
Don't you swear anymore.
How dare you!
Oh, Lord! Grant me endurance.
Do not mind me saying this,
but Alvira and you don't look that great together.
Your personality is so great, while she is so ordinary.
Did she show you her tattoo? Did she?
Keep your cool. Final round.
Focus, final round.
I'm suggesting as a friend
that Alvira and you
are not that great of a couple.
But you keep your cool. Focus.
You want me to end my relationship with her
so that I don't win.
I'm number 99.
- Next Mr. South Hall. - We love you, 99!
Simmer down, darlings. I'm coming.
Remember, we will never separate
and you will never win.
I tried everything
but nothing works on that idiot.
If I was in Anaida's shoes, I would have ended the relationship.
Laila, the thing is...
that Steve won the real game.
We will leave from here
with our heads held high.
No matter what,
don't let them win this title.
That witch can never be Ms. South Hall, do you understand?
Why are you always so scared?
We will destroy them.
If they win, I will kill you.
I hate you! Hey, let's rock the stage!
Come on.
Round 3!
The market square's now a ring to a dare
Between the blades of our eyes
My darling!
Do we lose limb, life or reach for the knife
In this clash of our two-edged eyes
My darling!
We have even brought a part of the moon on stage
Let us begin this challenge
We have even brought a part of the moon on stage
Let us begin this challenge
My beloved, let us begin this challenge
- Let the moon and the stars... - Witness this special night
Let us set this stage on fire and dance! Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance! Let us dance... Let us dance! Dance!
This night is gorgeous, but don't let it lure you
- Come on... - Come on!
But this gorgeous night will soon come to an end
Come on...
- You are the purpose of my life - You are the reason I will die
My beloved, let us begin this challenge
You are strange, but you are lovely!
You were mine then, and you will always be mine
My beloved, let us begin this challenge
- We will spend the night here - We will all be together
Let us set this stage on fire and dance! Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance! Let us dance... Let us dance! Dance!
The ones who seem crazy have a pure heart, my darling
My darling!
The ones who cannot love are dead from within, my darling
You mean everything to me
I have fallen for you
You mean everything to me
I have fallen for you
My beloved, let us begin this challenge
- With everything you need... - For this perfect delicacy!
Let us set this stage on fire and dance! Let us dance... Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance! Let us dance... Let us dance! Dance!
The market square's now a ring to a dare
Between the blades of our eyes, my darling!
Do we lose limb, life or reach for the knife
In this clash of our two-edged eyes, my darling!
Let the moon and the stars witness this special night
Let us set this stage on fire and dance! Dance... Dance...
Dance... Dance...
We will spend the night here
We will all be together
Let us set this stage on fire and dance! Dance... Dance...
Dance... Dance... Dance... Dance...
With everything you need for this perfect delicacy!
Let us set this stage on fire and dance! Dance... Dance...
Dance... Dance...
Your eyes have finally met mine
Let us play the music and dance! Let us dance!
Let us dance... Dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance! Dance!
Let us dance...
Let us dance! Dance!
And the winner is our own Bathinda boy, Ricky,
and his dear fiancée Anaida.
- You're going to Hollywood. - And here's the crown.
- Laila, don't come back. - Thank you.
I think we've been cheated.
And now, I declare Mr. and Ms. South Hall.
Wow!
We lost the title too. I hate you.
Is that how much you love him?
No point shedding tears for him.
Mom says, your destiny decides who you get.
Understood?
Yes, Shabnam...
Let me show you what I can do.
Listen, I'm really sorry.
Sister, guess who's been waiting for you.
Shahriyar! He's downstairs.
Bloody Shahriyar! Bloody Ricky Thukral!
I hate them all. To hell with all of them.
Ricky! Ricky!
- Ricky Thukral! - Hafi!
- Ricky! - What the hell!
Why does Hafi go for a walk every morning?
He'll have a heart attack someday.
- Ricky Thukral! - Coming!
Oh, Steve.
Steve?
- What do you want? - A cup of tea.
Why should I make you one? This is not a restaurant.
Then why did you ask?
Ricky! Hey! You pig, come downstairs!
You bastard!
You left last night without paying me up.
What are you doing here?
Hurry up, give me my money.
Look, he'll pay me now.
Then, it will be proven to you.
- What proof? - That I am a prostitute.
I know why you call yourself that.
So that I don't feel guilty.
- Guilty? - Yes.
Last night...
She and I... We both...
The both of us...
- You had sex! - Go ahead, kill me if you want.
But before you do it, forgive me.
- Don't you hit him. - Alvira's crazy about him,
you two-timing bastard!
I cheated you and you're worried about Alvira?
Thank God we got to know the real you before marriage.
There's nothing between the two of us. Tell him.
Look, I'm Laila. Not Anaida. A prostitute, not a fiancée.
We have nothing going on.
Give me the money.
- I love you. - To heck with that!
- I really love you. - God damn it! I'm a prostitute.
I still love you, Laila.
- Really? - I never lie. Never!
- Son of a-- - Son of a what?
Loving mother!
Look, pig, this is true love.
He is a fraud. Look what he's doing with Alvira.
Don't ever call me a fraud. Look at this.
I'm not Steve. I'm Satvinder, inside and out.
What about Alvira? Doesn't she love you?
She loves him.
- I hate her. I hate her! - What did you say?
Darling, he said that she loves you.
Well, he's saying that she loves you.
What are you waiting for now?
Are you waiting for someone else to have her instead?
Run now! Yes!
- I don't know where she lives. - Really?
Look, you can ask them!
Satvinder. Sat--
At least take a break to breathe. Do you know where Alvira lives?
Satvinder!
- I hate you. - Let's go.
Hey, stop!
Kulwinder, isn't that your boy?
- It can't be. - Seemed like it.
My son would never behave like this.
He works so hard at his office just to pay for my bingo.
Sir, weigh the cabbage.
You've gone blind.
That one. No, wait!
Oh, boy!
Sattu... think.
It's a matter of my life and your death.
Which one is it?
It was this one...
One second...
Was it this side or that side?
Hey, it was this side! Where did he go?
It was this one.
- Hey, you have a telescope, right? - Yes, why?
Come, let me show you some stars.
- Sorry? - Focus!
Are you going to meet him like that?
Oh, my God! Like I'm naked and not wearing anything.
Hi.
Come in, quick. Let us talk about it, once and for all.
Nice room. Didn't you go to the showroom today?
It's Sunday.
I thought you must have taken a leave for me.
Well, you are wrong.
This has a phone number on it. It says Ricky Thukral.
- What is he discussing? - Discussion? We should listen.
Video and audio, both, with a very strong mic.
So, Mom suggested that we should get married.
I agreed to it.
You don't have to beat around the bush.
Just say what you're here to say.
They're talking about marriage.
- There is no rush. - There is. Let me speak first then.
Firstly, I have already had sex, eleven times.
She lies with such confidence.
Say something. Don't just stare at me.
I have done it only four times.
- You outdid me. - So, what will you do?
I'll feel jealous, what else?
That's it? Strange!
That's all you would do?
I have a tattoo, also, right here.
- Looks nice. - Just like mine.
- Same to same. - I have many male friends.
- Me too. - I hate Indian traditional dresses.
I hope you don't have a problem if I wear one.
What planet is this guy from?
Unbelievable! I'm tired of listing all my bad qualities.
But you still haven't begun to hate me.
I didn't come here to hate you.
You should! I don't want you to like me.
I don't want anyone to like anyone.
- I want there to be hatred everywhere. - But why?
Because I love Ricky Thukral.
- Oh, she said the truth! - Thukral?
You love someone with such a weird name?
Weird?
I like Ricky Thukral.
- It's weird. - Move!
How long have you loved him? Years?
No. A few days.
- Do not let him touch you. - Ricky Thukral?
No! He is my cousin, Shahriyar!
- Okay. - I'm here to marry her.
Shut up. You... meet me downstairs.
I need to talk to you. Come downstairs.
Fine, as if I'm scared.
I got class.
Alvira, this guy doesn't seem right for you.
Does he even have a job?
He does nothing, yet everything.
Look, I have an MA, and even a Ph.D.
- Congratulations on that. - No...
Hey, you look happy. Did you accept Shahriyar's proposal?
Well, we are not getting married.
Where would you find a better guy than Shahriyar?
- Right outside. - What do you mean?
Where is your Ms. South Hall?
She eloped with Satvinder.
Sat-- he told you. I'll kill him.
Let it go. Laila is with him now.
- Laila who? - The one who posed as Anaida.
She turned Sattu into a man from a boy.
Oh, God, Sattu! When did this happen?
Isn't she one of those who pick up men at night?
Mom. This is Laila.
Not a very good cook.
She can't do any household chores either.
She swears a lot, but that can be brought under control.
But she can become the best daughter-in-law.
That much I can guarantee.
- Give me your blessings, ma'am. - I love you.
And I'm damn sure, you'll fall in love with her too, Mom.
But dear...
No buts, Mom.
We'll be back from Hollywood in a week.
Bye, Mom.
- So, you lied to me. - Still, not a bigger liar than you.
To be honest, you look incredible when you lie.
I...
You idiot! Couldn't you have come sooner?
What if I had accepted Shahriyar's proposal?
You are unbelievable.
I got a little late, and you were ready to marry the next guy you met.
- Typical Indian mentality. - I am not Indian.
No different, you're a Pakistani.
- Don't say a word against Pakistanis. - Why would I?
My best friend
and girlfriend are Pakistani.
Good. Otherwise, everyone in this neighborhood
would come and force you to marry me.
So let them. I'm not scared.
Before they can force me,
I'll marry you myself.
- I'll marry you. - Why?
Because we lived an entire life in just two hours.
And yet, there was no war.
- There wasn't? - No chance.
- Really? - If not war, what really happened?
Well, love happened.
That's how it happens
after spending two hours together.
How many girls have you done this with?
- Eleven. - You creep!
Let's play a game.
Let's do something that we both have never done.
Tell me.
Let's kiss out here, in the open, in front of everyone.
A long kiss.
Okay.
The sweet and decent love is a tale of the olden days.
Long proposals would happen back then.
Sparks, clash, passionate flashes--
today's love is the way to sway!
What's your zodiac sign?
Listen, I'm already engaged.
- Are you flirting again? - Why would I flirt?
I'm engaged too.
Really! Look, original topaz.
Does she have a name or do you always call her fiancée?
No, she has no name.
That was such a stupid question.
What is it, then?
Anaida!
Your turn. Tell me how you met your fiancé.
- Superman got us together. - Does he own a comic book store?
Mind blowing! This is amazing!
Oh, Lord! Solve the mysteries of love
Tell us the benefits of it
I just can't fall in love, no matter how hard I try
Your eyes have finally met mine Let us play some music and dance!
Let us dance... Let us dance!
Oh, Lord!
And action!
Let us dance... Let us dance!