Hello... Hello...
Hotel... tourist place...
Hello-hello...
Hello...
Hello... Madam, here... me...
Yes...
Welcome to the Holy city of Benares.
I am Kanni, your friendly tourist guide.
Here starts... a journey in Lord Bholenath's city.
The land of mistakes.
Mistakes or mystics? - Same.
The city of Sufis and Saints.
The land of Yogas and Bhogas.
Gurus and Maha-gurus.
Achar (pickle)...and Acharis (teachers).
The city of Vedas and Kamasutra.
Excuse me.
No payment, no problem.
Sanskrit Chant... Guest is our God!
Okay.
Thank you.
Come-come-come.
Sound...different city altogether.
You will love it.
Get the rickshaw.
So man... - Yeah...
You finally got one, didn't you?
I am Kanni guide after all.
Nothing short of Spiderman.
Spin the web here...and catch a prey there.
Stop-stop...
Show me your license.
Sir, he's just tagging along to help me push.
The rickshaw keeps breaking down.
I've foreigner tourists as well.
Har Har Mahadev.
Let's go...
Keep moving.
Go on.
Four things are very famous in Benares.
Benares' Ganga...
Benares' Pandas...
Benaresi betel leaf...and a Benaresi's word.
You will see fresh oxygen available in Benares.
Where?
Here-there...everywhere, madam.
Har Har Mahadev.
Stop here.
Ancient Yoga-guru is available here, day and night.
I know why you're smiling.
You could've been in a similar situation...
...if you had done Ma in Hindi Literature.
"O Mother Ganga..."
(Chanting)
"Hail Ganga..."
(Chanting)
"Hail Ganga..."
"Hail Lord Rama."
"Hail Lord Bholenath."
Upadhyay, I've heard that Mr. Pandey...
...has been chosen as the member of Parliament again.
He's been promoting all those useless guys.
And he's been cajoling me with a licorice.
Who wants to argue with saints?
These Pandey's will life hell for Pandas.
On one side, this 'Reservation' is killing the Brahmins.
And on the other, is Dharamnath Padva.
Don't say that.
Mr. Pandey is very religious, he's a scholar.
If he's a scholar, is he going to sc*** the Brahmins?
Didn't you see?
He was clearly saying in front of Kashi's Brahmins yesterday...
"Our Perennial religion is under threat..."
"...from the Brahmins, more than from foreigners."
Look there...
He's walking with such pride.
Come...
Har Har Mahadev Mr. Pandey.
Congratulations, Mr. Pandey.
Har Har Mahadev!
So pay attention to this Assi Ghat...
The famous Ghat.
You know, Lord Rama.
The great Rama. Son of Dashratha, brother of Lakshmana, Bharata...
...husband of Sita, who killed Ravana.
His life story book, written by Tulsidasa...
...finished his career here.
He wrote a book of Ramcharitra Manas, here.
So this is a 'Ghat' (River Bank).
People come here.
They take bath. Remove sin from their body.
So make sin, take bath in his Holy water.
You can see these Pandas. The great Pandas...
...saints and ascetics under their umbrellas.
What we say here...
"What you can enjoy in Benares.."
"...you won't get it in Paris or France."
What enjoy here, you can enjoy nowhere.
Now see there.
Our wonderful India.
Ramdulare...
I'm going to beat you to a pulp.
Run for your lives, it's Kanni guru.
Run...run for it.
Catch them..
Don't spare anyone...catch them.
Kanni guru, won't you let people live peacefully?
They want to wash their sins...
...as well as their a**** in Ganga.
And say Hail Mother Ganga.
But you also let them off for cheap.
There are no free meals in this country.
Corruption has become our national character.
And by the way, what are you doing here?
Let's go to Pappu's stall, buy me a cup of tea.
I won't go to Pappu's stall...
It's become a den for addicts and junkies.
Everyone's commenting on politics.
Don't buy me a cup of tea if you don't want to, as***
But remember...
The only place in 'Assi'...
...where there's democracy, is at Pappu's shop.
There are only two Parliaments in this country.
One is in Delhi...
...and the other is at Pappu's stall.
Join me if you wish to, otherwise...
Go to Bachchan's stall instead.
Gurudev, have you read the news?
The upholders of the Indian culture have announced...
...that they won't allow any 'poetical gathering' on Holi this year.
They say it's vulgar, cheap, bad...
And if you want to indulge in this activity...
...then go outside the city.
Across the Ganga, where no one can hear you.
Otherwise, it will lead to bloodshed and massacre.
Radheshyam, listen to me carefully...
...and convey it to your so-called upholders of culture.
Those who look for vulgarity and swears in the language...
...we people call them as****
And you guys are trying to go against the current.
You see, in Kashi 'Har Har Mahadev' is just as popular...
...as much as as****
Is there any difference between these two words for you?
There is.
The first one needs to be said with lots of zest.
While the later comes easily.
And you think a**** is a swear, whereas it's Assi' mother tongue.
And tell me one thing...
Have you ever seen the exchange of love and blessings...
...without any swear words.
And listen Rajkishore.
Let see who has the b*** to come up...
...and stop the poetical gathering.
I, Gaya Singh, Professor Harischandra College...
...will lay down his life.
But won't let any harm come to Kashi's tradition.
Radheshyam, buy tea for everyone...
...on the occasion of being appointed the head of your committee.
Har Har Mahadev!
Who is that?
Who is it?
Who owns this shop?
Rascals, selling canopies without a license.
License? - Where's your license? Show me your license?
What... what is this?
Come on, out all of you.
Enough of your discussion on the nation.
Out all of you.
I've to seal the shop.
Handcuff all of them. And seal the place.
Get out... move...
No one will move!
Mr. Sharma, you see my head.
Smooth...
Not a single hair on my head.
You can hammer me with your stick.
Hit me if you can.
But Sharma, you a***
You want to change the tradition of Kashi.
Who do you think you are...
...to change Kashi's tradition, which...
...has been continuing for thousands of years.
Many inspectors like you came and went.
But the tradition of Kashi is still intact...
...and it will stay that way.
Sharma, you sh** on western toilets...
How could you know that canopies...
...are associated with Gods and Goddess.
And it's associated with the mind and body.
The mind and body are associated with the origin of human beings.
And the origin of human beings...
...is associated with 'Assi'.
How dare you, inspector...
...to call the offering of the Great Lord and intoxication.
Har Har... - Mahadev!
Before these people violent for religious reasons...
...let's get out of here.
Har Har... - Mahadev!
Is everything fine, sister? - Yes...
Greetings. - Greetings.
How are you, sister Savitra?
Come, Ramdeyi.
Where did you get so dirty?
You want me to run after you leaving all my chores?
Go and wear your clothes.
Are you still standing there?
Go and play on the roof. - Let's go play.
So Ramdeyi. - What do I say, sister Savitra?
You can see...inflation is on the rise.
Five mouths to feed and one sole breadwinner.
Competition is on the rise too.
What do Mallah's (Boatman) get after all?
Whenever they ask for adequate money...
...for showing them all the ghats, they say that we're plundering pilgrims.
But the foreign tourists are paying handsomely.
What else are the Mallahs doing?
Plundering the foreigners...
...by renting out their homes to the foreigners.
You should take a paying guest as well, Ramdeyi.
Just like Ramdhan Mallah did.
You don't know these foreigner chicks, sister.
They are not trustworthy.
Then take a male instead.
Come.
Greetings, aunty. Can I come inside? - Not at all...
I don't want my picture taken. Get lost.
Thank you.
Welcoming you... - Okay.
But entry later.
She is busy in daily prayers. - Alright.
Come, I'll show you beautiful Monkey God temple.
Big one.
Always looking for an excuse to get in.
And whenever into each other on the way...
...he keeps staring like he'll devour me.
What are you saying?
Mr. Pandey, its afternoon...
...but not a single tourist with deep pockets.
Mr. Upadhyay... It's God who's the actual bestowal.
What will the bloody tourist give us?
God's right in front of you, Pandey.
At least spare Lord Bholenath, a****
Take on some other guise and make money.
He's the one who provides for all of us.
Can you point out a single soul...
...who's not an image of Lord Bholenath.
Give me the mirror.
And some sandalwood too.
Don't you see, all the sandalwood has melted because of the heat.
You should carry your makeup kit with you.
Sandalwood doesn't come for free.
You're always applying sandalwood on Shiva's phallus...
...and refusing to give me.
If some scoundrel hadn't stolen my luggage...
...then I would've never set foot on your ghat.
Curse you.
Did you take a big chuck today morning?
Now... get lost!
I am the Lord of Kashi...and you're simply a resident.
And you ask me to get lost.
You'll realize when some day I will shove this up your a**
Excuse me.
Welcome to Kashi.
Photo with Lord Shiva? - Yeah, please.
Come.
Wait...
Photo with Lord Shiva, 100 rupees.
With Holy Ganga water, 200 rupees. - Wow.
Come.
Boss, I am getting nowhere out here.
Remember Billu...
He's giving Bachchan a haircut in Mumbai.
And me...
The only customers I get are hawkers, shopkeepers, and priests.
And only on Mondays.
When the other haircutting saloons at the main square are closed.
Boss, take me with you.
I've told you a thousand times...
...take your stuff and sit at the ghats.
Get friendly with the foreigners.
Understand their needs.
Only then will you get anywhere.
There's no dearth of people on the ghat...
...who need a haircut and a shave. - Yes...
There you are.
I've was looking for you at Pappu's shop.
How about a cup of tea? - Of course.
Kanni, I want to rent out my house.
But only if I get proper paying guest.
Local or foreigner?
Locals...
Even better if they don't have kids.
Fine, let me think. But my commission will be double.
Don't get too cheeky.
You're not the only guy in Assi.
But you're like family.
I'll give pay you single commission.
Brother Raghu, I listened to Kanni and came to the ghat.
But you're my sole support now.
You take care of me, and I will take care of you.
And I'll teach you the rest.
Hello, excuse me, sir.
Sir...
Sir... ma'am.
Boat ride, joy ride. - No.
Massage, sir. - No.
Thank you.
Ma'am.
Can we get some marijuana? - Yes...
Please.
Yeah!
Be careful, this is Mohalla Assi you as****
Out here, people even challenge Shankaracharya.
Yes, brother.
Mr. Chaubey.
Do you consume onions, garlic or meat?
We stay miles away from these things.
Remember...
There's no place for Mallech's (non-Vedic) in this neighborhood.
Dubey, Chaubey, Upadhyay, Tiwari...come out.
And look at how religion is being destroyed.
I told you there's no place for Mallech's in this neighborhood.
Don't rent out your homes.
Look now...
Some unrighteous people have entered our neighborhood.
Listen...
Please don't interfere in religious matters.
Go... go back inside.
What's the matter, Mr. Pandey? - What's the matter?
Call all the Brahmins in the neighborhood.
And ask them, how can there be bones in a neighborhood...
...where no one even eats onions or garlic.
Bones?
Brother... - Yeah.
That priest is making a racket again.
Where did it come from?
How many times have I told you...
...to dispose of the bones somewhere far away!
But you never listen.
Whose paying guest is it?
Call everyone out.
Such an unreligious person should be chucked out!
What is it?
Hey boy, don't try to get cheeky.
Aren't you Chaubey's paying guest? - Yes.
You're a Yadav, aren't you? - No, I'm a Thakur.
Then you must be a meat eater.
How can I rent the house to anyone who eats meat?
Then where did these bones come from?
Are these chicken bones or rat bones?
Does it look like rat bones to you?
Do you eat chicken?
Look at what this boy's saying.
If you don't eat, you don't know.
It's a very small rat.
These hawks and eagles eat their prey...
...and drop the bones here.
I've seen such bones in many places.
Mr. Pandey, maybe if we appoint someone...
...to scare away the buzzards, then it will solve the problem immediately.
You're being really smart***
Who's going to sit here all day and scare the buzzards away?
What if we don't let them the neighborhood in the first place?
Get lost...
Did you have to make a scene? - Please don't start now.
Why shouldn't I?
You make a scene out there...
...and the women taunt me!
Who do you think you are? Shankracharya?
Live...and let other's live peacefully.
Let them eat meat if they like!
Don't the Thakurs in our neighborhood eat meat?
Is Mr. Pandey at home?
Is someone missing? - Yes.
Is it a girl? - She ran away.
With a boy.
What is her name? - Ganga.
The girl will return in 10 days.
You must pray to Lord Hanuman every day.
What about your fee? - Whatever you wish, mister.
Here.
The client gave this.
Only 11...
Couldn't you ask for more?
What good are 11 rupees in today's time?
A***
Is this fee or charity?
Did he think he was giving bribe?
Savitri...Savitri... greed makes one commit sin.
Yes, I am greedy, sinner, stupid and more.
It's futile to tell you anything.
Benares is the city of Yoga and Bhoga.
City of the science of living and art of loving.
Yogacharya and Bhogacharya.
Tantric-acharya... Moni baba.
One minute Baba.. sleight baba, riddle baba...
...and many types of babas.
Can I meet a baba? - Oh, sure.
Sleight baba... baba, she's Catherine.
She's American.
She likes India a lot.
She wants to know what India is today.
Hello.
"Oblivious to self."
'A**** couldn't you write something simple.'
India is in Coma.
India is in memory loss.
Cut off from its roots.
I see...
India is cut off from its roots.
India is Oblivious to self.
How does he see India a decade from now?
How will be India 10 years from now, baba?
"Market."
Market.
Flea-market? Open-market?
What market?
Flea-market? Open-market? What kind of market, baba?
"Orange... apple... berries."
Orange... apple... berries.
Cell phones, laptops, computers?
"India will think less and speak more."
India will think less, speak more.
India cut off from its roots will speak more, and think less.
With orange, apple, and berries!
Can I say something?
How long can we survive on this knowledge?
My father gave me these books, scripts...
...and that umbrella on the ghat on his death bed.
What else can I do?
You can teach Sanskrit to the children after school.
Who wants to learn Sanskrit anymore?
They have no future.
I've rounded up some poor Brahmin kids...
...and teaching them Sanskrit.
But my part-time school...
...is running on the mercy of Marwari's and their donation.
Many foreigners come to Assi to learn Sanskrit.
Who is learning Sanskrit?
All they come looking for...
...is drugs, marijuana and an excuse to stay in Benares.
Assi is not some university.
And who is teaching Sanskrit?
Everyone's just minting money.
It's just an excuse to sublet their homes.
And this neighborhood of Brahmins is still safe...
...because I keep raising my voice.
Otherwise, in every home, Pandey's would be teachers...
...and the foreigners would be their pupils.
Then let the children rot at the local schools!
Who told you that the local schools are not good enough?
Famous scholars and politicians...
...studied at that same school.
No point in telling you anything.
What is all this racket about?
There's nothing we'll be taking along.
Take a look outside...
People are dying all the time.
They keep amassing wealth...
...yet no happiness on their face.
Either they don't have this or that.
She needs a sari or a frock.
Either fees or lunch.
Tonic or medicine.
Whether you do...or not do anything...
...the world still goes on...and it always will.
Nachiketa said to Lord of Death.
O Lord, whether these comforts will exist tomorrow or not...
...cannot be predicted yet.
Comforts and leisure's weakens a person.
And so you can keep these horses, the dance, singing.
Where were you? Late again.
Guru, I went to a someone's funeral.
Remember one thing...
...there won't be someone's final rites, funeral or other religious events every day.
So have faith in yourself.
If you study Sanskrit, you can attain some knowledge.
Otherwise, you'll have to wander around...
...looking for people to satiate even your basic needs.
The stars won't fall in a quandary every day...
...nor will people won't come looking for a Brahmin every day.
Learn something from Nachiket.
The Lord of Death is giving him horses, elephants, beautiful girls...
...but he says give me knowledge.
He says...
A man's craving for wealth is never satiated.
And look at you...
You're attending funerals for free food.
So...this is your first picnic to Benares? - No...
Actually second.
Ahh... finding it peaceful here.
Moksha (Salvation).
No, actually finding a place here.
The American lady wants to live on the ghat.
That's not difficult, boss.
A*** if it was that easy, wouldn't I have done it myself?
Find out if any Brahmin, Thakur or Ghumiyar wants to sublet his home.
You will get a share in the commission.
Is there any neighborhood in Assi...
...which isn't filled with garbage, mutts, and tenants.
The holy book and tenants...
...are the only things supporting the Pandas.
And as long as you don't move your ass...
...you can't hope to sit here and find out.
There is no dearth of tenants here.
There's one always roaming every lane.
And the rent's so low, it's practically free.
And by the end of the month, the arguments begin.
Arguing over the electricity bill...
Over lack of water...
Even if you ask them to vacate the place.
And if the tenant is a smarta**...
...then you can lose the house as well.
Then you can keep fighting court cases for the rest of your life.
Not for locals, I am inquiring for a foreigner.
Foreigner?
But she's a complete Brahmin.
She is working on Benares.
Are you crazy?
How can I give my house to some non-Vedic person?
I do have a house...
...but I can't sublet it.
Don't you know Dharamnath Padva?
He's always talking about national interest.
If I sublet the house to some foreigner...
...he will make a big scene out of it.
He'll call the protectors of the Culture.
Then I'll have people protesting outside my house...
...or someone will threaten me to jump in the Ganga.
Take Mr. Pandey's blessings.
Lord Bholenath is very benevolent.
Won't Pandey give you 5000?
He's such a rascal.
A deer never enters a sleeping lion's jaw.
He has to hunt.
Hard work leads to success.
Why should I let foreigners live in Assi?
You see...
Because every lane of Assi leads to the ghat.
And every window in this neighborhood opens directly to the view of Ganga.
When you step out of the house, you see Ganga.
Look at your window, and you again you see Ganga.
It's the apple of those foreigner's eyes.
And you are going to sublet your house to those foreigners...
...because they will pay you rent per day.
Pandey, they are also learning Sanskrit and Hindi on Assi.
I know what they are learning.
Let them study and leave.
But the others are letting them live in their homes.
They were.
That's their wish.
Mr. Upadhyay, you know what's been happening...
...on the ghats since these foreigners came here.
And you want these things happening in the hotels and lodges...
...to happen in the homes of Assi' Brahmins as well.
I am not letting some junkies live in my home.
Till yesterday, they wouldn't dare to set foot in your homes...
...without bathing in the Ganga.
But now they are sitting in front of you without taking a bath.
Tomorrow they will interfere in your family affair.
Get friendly with your children.
Hit on them...
Take them around the ghats...
There's no telling where else they will take them.
What will you do when they make an a** out of you?
Three months for Hindi...and six months for Sanskrit.
Then Hindi and Sanskrit should've been international languages.
People say that I am always creating a racket on Assi...
As**** you're the one tainting religion...
...and I should keep quiet!
Don't you dare sublet your home to any foreigners?
Greetings, priest.
Lord Bholenath cannot see our sorrows.
Look at all the foreign tourists visiting us.
Get to the point.
A lady wants a place to stay...
How many days did you spend in jail last time?
Jail...
Police arrested me because of a misunderstanding.
Who was caught with marijuana?
It was a helpless foreigner, sir...who...
If I hadn't owned up to the accusation...
...then a helpless foreigner would've been jailed.
So I lent a hand... only to protect her.
Who are you trying to help out now?
She is an American lady.
Whose prey is she? - Kanni guru.
He maybe your guru, a****
If you bring any foreigner over to Assi...
...I will whip your a**
Do you want to live in Assi or not? - Yes.
Get lost.
I already said not to the scoundrel.
But look at that barber's ba***
He's a bloody pretentious.
A**** doesn't even use a soap.
He shaves with just water.
He won't let us make some dough easily.
Stop preaching.
Now I must take this matter into my own hands.
Greetings, sir.
What's the matter, Mr. Pandey? You didn't bless me today.
Why?
Did you stop working for world's welfare along with Mallahs and Ghatiks?
Try to understand my helplessness, sir.
If the American lady doesn't live on Assi, she won't...
Listen to me carefully, Kanni.
Ganga is not just a river for me, she's my mother.
I won't let the ghats turn into a picnic spot...
...and the river into a swimming pool.
The American lady can live anywhere in Benares she wants.
But she can't live in any of the Brahmin's home in Assi.
Greeting!
So Kanni...what were you trying to sell?
Normally they preach "The whole world is my family".
But they won't let any foreigner set foot in their home.
Just imagine, tourists are coming here from every corner of the world.
Holland, France, Germany, Japan.
Some want to learn the Tabla, the Pakhawa, and the Sitar and Drupad.
Some of them even want to learn Sanskrit.
Now, when they come here...
...they will need a place to stay.
If I don't help them out, then...
...these Pandas, the rickshaw drivers, boatman, hotels, and guides will plunder them.
And when I help them...
...these a**** think I am doing a business of world welfare.
They will differentiate between human beings...
...but expect a sense of equality amongst them.
Kanni Guru...you mentioned every country...
...but forgot all about America and England.
Don't you dare mention them?
Those a*** are such scoundrels.
Whenever they come here, they stay the Taj or Palace.
Go sight-seeing in cars for few days...
...and go back from the airports.
They fix everything in Delhi itself, scoundrels.
What will they know about Benares?
And the foreigners who are roaming around on ghats...
...in vests, kurtas and loin-cloths, drinking tea on footpaths...
...who are they?
People who are bored of machines and running from them.
Those rascals who wait for their 1000 dollars money-order...
...are people who are bored from machines and looking for a way out.
Have you ever seen how old the foreigners...
...who roam around on the ghats are?
30... 35...
Indian culture...Indian music...Indian Dance...
...Indian Gods-Goddess... magic spells and Yoga...
...are their hobbies and helplessness as well.
100 dollars is quite a lot for those who live on Assi.
Live anywhere you want.
Eat anywhere you like.
Sleep wherever you wish.
1000 dollars here means...rich.
But out there...
Is it possible to lead a respectable life out there for so little?
But out here they are being treated respectfully.
Only because they are giving you money.
Dollars.
The foreigners who live on Assi...
...are the filth of their nation, just like the poor in our society.
Hey man...
Take my life, my world...my religion, my faith...
My shop and my home.
But stop licking.
I told you before...
Every home here has a temple of Lord Shiva...
...so who would let a foreigner in such a house.
But you only wanted Brahmins to reap the blessings.
What do you think your room is?
It's a dump.
And who's reaping the benefits because of these foreigners?
You guys are.
I actually want some foreigner...
...to enter a Brahmin, Thakur's home.
And from there its all easy.
Come on, do as Kanni says.
Give him a room.
I will... but I will charge per day. - What?
Paying guest.
If you accept, I will vacate one of the rooms.
Simple living, high thinking.
The message of the Vedas.
Attached toilet... hello.
Okay.
Happy? - Yeah.
Here... count it. - The commission's fine.
But how will Catherine get a student visa?
Leave that to me.
A Hindi professor comes to me for shaving.
In every three days.
I know him really well.
Or else we'll get her married to someone.
To some jobless Benaresi.
You've been contributing a lot...
...in the development of our national language.
The development of language is far more important.
This is all I learned, Guru.
If the foreigner doesn't know about our national language...
...then how will she know India?
This is bound to happen now.
Foreigners will learn English...
...and the Indians will learn English.
If she is prepared to study for two years...
...then bring her to the university.
I'll get her enrolled in the diploma course.
But let her study Hindi...
And don't tutor her on something else.
How is your paying guest, Ramdeyi?
What do I say, sister?
That a**** is having all the fun, and I'm facing punishment.
I am reduced to a mere maid.
"Get this...get that..."
"Cook this... make that."
As if it's not my home but a hotel.
And she's always following that barber around everywhere.
Rascal...
He's always into her...
Tell your husband...
They even s*** together.
Even smoke the pot.
Ramdeyi...does your husband have a strong character?
What's the point of judging his character...
...when someone's openly seducing you.
I've noticed many times.
She raises her skirt and lies down and says...
"It's too hot in here."
Where? In Benares?
Between her two legs, where else?
Be careful, sister.
These foreigners are quite...
I will s*** her.
Water? - Yeah...thank you.
We'll make the temple in the same place!
Hail Lord Ram!
We'll make the temple in the same place!
Hail Lord Ram!
For the Laxmi-Narayan temple in Assi, the Ram-Leela committee of Assi...
...has organized a veneration for the establishment of its foundation.
Devotees of Ram are expected to attend in large numbers...
...and witness the foundation laying veneration.
Hail Lord Ram!
You guys will send bricks from every village and town...
...and build a temple in Ayodhya.
Grand... beautiful.
Show me one beautiful temple made of bricks.
Right, Mr. Pandey.
Temples are made of faith, Gaya Singh.
I can see that.
No one ever worshiped Ram...
...except for Singhal and Advani.
There are a number of Ram-Janki temples here.
But where do you get to see Ram...
...other than on Ram-Navami (Festival).
The country is sinking in hell, so let it be.
But you...will go to Ayodhya.
And build a temple there.
Then where else should we go?
Where do you expect us to build a temple?
Rome or Italy?
Let it be... the country was never on your agenda.
Your agenda is national self-esteem and protection of cows.
You're only looking for a political issue.
Then, Mr. Lawyer, please tell us...
...if we don't build the temple on its place of origin...
...then where else should we build it?
Do you have any documents supporting...
...that Lord Ram was born exactly where you want to build the temple?
Radheshyam, who's going to given any evidence?
You?
Can you drag history to court?
Mr. Srivastav, you're a lawyer.
You're used to asking for the truth.
How many times will you drag the truth to court?
So should we believe your word to be the ultimate truth?
Right, Mr. Pandey? - No!
But should we believe what you say?
You guys won't listen to the court either.
How can the court take decisions about our faith?
See... see...
This is their character... 'National character'.
Let the world go to hell, but they will never listen.
Lord Ram left his home...
...to prevent any kind of dispute in his home.
But these people...won't let go of the place of origin. - How can we?
Lord Ram has said it Himself...
Understand, Mr. Lawyer.
"Our motherland is greater than paradise!"
Hail Lord Ram!
Sister... would you like some offerings?
Nakka...are you inside?
What's going on?
I was only teaching her yoga.
Trying to teach Kamasutra to the foreigners.
A*** I'll teach you Kamasutra.
Jaggu will kill me if he finds out.
No one knows.
Only if he finds out.
And if you don't do as I say...
...I won't spare you either.
VP Singh... - Down! Down!
What's going on?
These things happen every day in colleges. - VP Singh... - Down! Down!
VP Singh... - Down! Down!
Brahmins are in a bad phase, guys.
Kashiram is after them.
And now Mulayam and Lalu aren't paying any heed to them either
And when bloody VP was being shunned and kicked out from everywhere...
... is the one who anointed him.
And said...
He's not a king, he's a beggar.
He's the fate of the country.
And now when he's in Delhi...
...he's s**** us all over.
PM is stuck in...
...and the CM in Babri Masjid.
And the DM is stuck between their arrangements.
And the country is still where it was.
Who cares where the country is, Mr. Lawyer?
It's been two months since anyone has eaten lentil.
Wheat and coal are selling at the same rate.
2.50 rupees a kilo.
Now, you can either eat wheat or coal.
The country is not turning its attention towards Brahmins parties.
Let's see what it does.
What can they do?
There's hardly a difference...
...between Brahmins and lower-caste now.
Just like these lower caste people...
...gather wood at the cremation ground and waits for a dead body.
Similarly, these political parties eagerly wait for the government to dissolve...
...and get their share of the cream.
Mr. Lawyer, Raju's ship has sunk
But if Chandrashekhar becomes the PM...
...then we'll get a square meal every day.
Kho-kho will become our national game.
And the a****
Janta Dal is beaten for good.
Hail Sri Ram!
It's on the town square.
What is it?
What's going on, Mr. Pandey?
The city of Benares is resonating with the slogans of Jai Sri Ram...
...instead of Har Har Mahadev?
Not just the city of Benares...
...in fact, the entire country is resonating with the slogans of Jai Sri Ram.
And it should too.
You must prepare to go to Ayodhya as well.
Radheshyam Pandey is making arrangements...
...to send ghat-sevaks to Ayodhya.
I guess...Lord Ram isn't destined to live in Ayodhya.
What do you mean?
First it was his family that made him leave his home.
Now His own subjects are trying to quit his place.
Are you writing a new book of Ramcharitra?
When did Ram's subjects make Him quit his home?
…said that Lord Ram sent mother Sita out of Ayodhya...
...but was Ram still in Ayodhya after that?
This dispute between temples and mosques...
...will make Ram go into exile again.
What's more, devotees of am banished Tulsidas, the one person...
...in whose heart Lord Ram dwelled.
Mr. Pandey, you know history really well.
Are you trying to enlighten me, as***
Don't go if you don't want to. No one's forcing you.
But don't teach me where Lord Ram dwells and where He should.
Listen, sir... - Yes, son.
What the hell are you doing here?
Why don't you go to Ayodhya?
See, if you get caught on the way...
...you will get a delicious platter of sweets and savories.
And if Radheshyam's party comes into power...
...then, you'll pension just like freedom fighters.
And if in case you die in the event...
...then it's a one-way ticket to paradise.
As****
You're wandering around Assi like a fool.
If you don't believe me, ask Radheshyam.
Am I right, Radheshyam? - Yes.
The day after tomorrow, I am going to Ayodhya...
...with a group of devotees
Make a meal for 10-12 people.
We hardly eat one square meal a day.
And here you're talking about feeding others.
Why are you going to Ayodhya?
Sit and home and chant the name of Ram.
Let them make the temple.
Are you crazy?
People from all every corner of the country are gathering around.
How can I sit at home?
Maybe I'll get arrested too.
It can even lead to bloodshed!
Make me a widow and the children orphan.
After all, you were a widower yourself.
What nonsense.
Tiwari isn't going. Upadhyay isn't going either.
No one from Assi is going.
But you must go.
If you like doing service...
...go visit every home, and narrate the tales of Ram.
Establish Ram in every home, who is stopping you.
That's what you call a revolution.
I don't want to argue with you.
And listen to me carefully...
This is a question of my faith!
A question of national pride and esteem.
And I will never compromise on it.
Lord Ram, we'll come!
And build a temple there.
Every child of Ram...
...from the motherland of Ram.
Lord Ram, we'll come!
And build a temple there.
Lord Ram, we'll come!
And build a temple there.
Every child of Ram...
...from the motherland of Ram.
Lord Ram, we'll come!
And build a temple there.
Lord Ram, don't be scared.
We're with you.
Every child of Ram...
...from the motherland of Ram.
Lord Ram, we'll come!
And build a temple there.
Do something...this intoxication is growing.
It's the intoxication of unbiased religion.
They won't get over it too soon.
What should I get from Ayodhya for you?
Ram and Janki's picture...blessing everyone.
(Chanting)
Hail Sri Ram.
No war was ever fought there...
...but Ayodhya was prepared for this battle.
And then...
The earth was drenched in blood...
...and God prevailed over the mosque.
Bullets were being fired...
But Mr. Pandey was marching ahead proudly.
But those a**** shot him in the leg.
That rascal missed his aim.
What the...
There's no way they could've killed him?
You see, he still has his wife for that.
Har Har Mahadev!
You've been shot in the leg.
You should be coming home first.
Someone's waiting for you at home.
But you'll go to Pappu's stall first.
Get himself felicitated. - Stop it now.
I was coming home.
They stopped me.
Everyone wants a revolutionary in their neighborhood.
But they don't want one in their own backyard.
Think about it...
What if he had shot you somewhere else?
Bloody rascal, he will never let us live in peace.
Mr. Pandey, can we come inside?
See...
Sister Savitra...
Sister Savitra... did you hear? - What?
That runt ran away. - Who?
That Catherine.
She was such a sly woman.
She didn't just run away alone...
In fact, she made that barber elope with her.
Thank God that she didn't elope with Jaggu.
But how did she run away? - She married the barber.
She was 10 years older to him.
I see... you knew quite a lot about Nekram.
Oh, sister, you're too much.
I did no such thing.
It's published in the newspaper.
How dare that rascal elopes with my paying guest.
Why are you mourning?
Who died?
You'll find many others.
I'll find you another paying guest soon.
But please don't take her around Benares.
Where did those two a*** go?
Take the water of Ganga in your hands, mister.
Sir, can I take mineral water instead?
If you want mineral water, then go someplace else, a****
I still have unwavering faith in Ganga.
Mr. Pandey, tell me...
...how long will this country survive on Ram?
This country will function properly...
...only until it's thriving on Lord Ram.
How much for the lady's finger? - 4 rupees for an ounce.
And cauliflower? - 3 rupees for an ounce.
And brinjal? - That's 3 rupees for an ounce.
Give me half a kilo of each. - Okay.
Give me half a kilo of tomato as well.
Total... - 20 rupees.
What can I give you, sister Savitri? - Half a kilo of bottle gourd.
Anything else? - That's all.
Which party are you in this time? - This time...it's Atal Bihari.
But you were supporting Radheshyam in the dispute between temple and mosque.
Doctor...when the country is in a dilemma...
...you must always have an option of changing sides.
These options are the truth strength of democracy
How about a cup of tea? - Come.
Laugh all you like.
But you're going to cry for the remaining five years.
Of course, when your party comes in power...
...that's all we're going to do.
You guys spit first and lick later.
And think the country is an a*****
Until yesterday they strongly claimed...
...that Kashi and Mathura is not on our agenda.
Today they claim to make a Ram temple in Ayodhya.
Tomorrow they will say...
...that we don't believe in the court of the law.
Do you have any honesty?
Hello. - Hello.
Greetings.
All fine. - Yes.
Sit.
So how's everything? - Nothing's hidden from you.
Don't you have any customers?
Why will the customers stop coming?
This neighborhood is so unpredictable.
You've already witnessed the drama of 'Ram's Land'...
...and the laying of the foundation stone'.
What are you saying, sir?
My shop is 50 years old.
I've had no complaints of stealing or larceny yet.
No one's even cursed to me. - You're lying.
Whenever there's a riot, your shop closes down.
I've seen it myself.
That's different.
It's not because of this neighborhood, it's a different reason altogether.
Forget it...
Tell me something.
Who do you plan to vote for this time?
You tell me, who should I vote for?
What's there to say?
This time the entire election is on secular grounds.
Secular means Muslim vote? - No... secular mean, in the interest of Muslims.
In the interest of Christians.
Against the Hindu sectarian!
Is there any other meaning of secularism...
...other than Muslim vote-bank?
This so-called Hindu-card that you've been playing...
...for the last 50 years, what does that mean?
Don't mind, sir.
I spent my entire lifetime in this neighborhood.
I played with the kids of this neighborhood and grew up.
Everyone knows me here.
That's how I earn a livelihood...and support my family.
I am no different from them.
I will vote for the person this neighborhood wants to.
But even if I cast my vote...
...no one will ever believe me.
That's that hurts me the most.
See you, guys. Goodbye.
Goodbye.
See you...
Do you hear, Radheshyam Padwa...
This... this is the consequence of 6th December.
Those who weren't Muslims...
...and those who never realized that they were Muslims...
...have turned into Muslims... overnight.
Even the smallest mosques started propagating.
The mosque which no one visited...
...started praying from dawn to dusk.
Those who never prayed...
...started praying religiously.
The populace in this neighborhood...
...that converted from Hindu to Muslim, know that...
...we all belong to the same caste, same creed!
For a decade they would visit Thakurs and Bhuimihars without any restrictions.
They would celebrate all the festivals together.
They would share the same cot...
One could never differentiate between the two.
But things changed, Radheshyam Padwa.
Things changed after that incident.
Do you have an answer?
Do you... - Only if you people listen?
We try propagating equal social status...
...and you people start shouting slogans about sectarianism.
Even if people are carrying a funeral and chanting Lord Ram's name...
...but you guys hear sectarianism.
What can we do?
Har Har Mahadev.
Look at Jaggu the Mallah.
His home was a dump-yard.
One wouldn't even look towards it.
And not it's so neat and clean.
And their children...
Even the Brahmin's kids in our neighborhood...
...don't live so well.
They wear so many beautiful, designer clothes.
Earlier, they would run around in the neighborhood...
...fighting and screaming.
But now they study.
They are saving money to buy a new home...
...watching color television.
And their wives and daughters.
So dirty, you wouldn't want to go anywhere near them.
And now look at them.
They sit outside their doors and listen to the radio.
Wearing these foreigner's clothes...
...and cleaning rice in the morning.
What should I do?
Let some foreigner stay in my home too.
Who's telling you to let them stay here?
Don't teach Sanskrit to foreigners if you don't want to.
But you can at least narrate tales.
Sing discourses... conduct venerations...
Read the stories of Lord Satyanarayan.
Read the Bhagavad.
Find other ways to make more money.
Savitri...
Human being's desire for wealth never ends.
Those who made oil, produced electricity... are not selling vegetables.
Selling water...
But their craving never ends.
Even if one attains all the wealth in the world...
...human beings say 'more'.
A few days later...
...these a*** will even sell fresh air in a can.
Can you get your daughter married without money?
Have you ever thought about it?
Glory to... - Mother India!
Come, Mr. Lawyer, and join the opposition.
For how long.
Few days of joy, and then sorrows all along.
Right, comrade?
Brother… red salute.
Come and join Mr. Srivastav.
I won't join the opposition...
...or sit at Pappu's stall.
This has become a den for…
Listen to me...
Only ruins are left.
But look at his attitude.
Only a handful of CPI supporters in a population of one billion people.
But they will try to assert as if...
...the country will collapse without them.
Don't worry, he'll be back soon
He can't handle the opposition's politics for too long.
Hello. - Hello, Kanni...
Why do you guys always call at this time?
Some Barber baba's here to see you.
Who is this a****? - I don't know.
There's no dearth of babas in Benares.
Is this a trap by the police? - Doesn't look like it...
He has followers with him and sitting in a Mercedes.
Okay.
Kanni... my money.
Next time on the boat, baby... okay.
How are you, Kanni?
As*** Nakka, you?
Sister Savitra!
Where are you? - I am up here.
What are you doing on the roof?
It's truly unbelievable.
You will be shocked to hear it.
What happened?
That foreigner has returned. - Who?
Catherine, who else? - Catherine?
Yes... and that barber's with him too.
That rascal has turned into a baba.
Barber Baba...
He gives blessings to his devotees with the 'khadtal'.
He has also got followers.
They were saying that...
...he's bought the old stadium in Assi.
And build a Yoga hermitage there.
And that wretch is writing another book on Benares.
Good...
Now foreigners will write the history of India...as well as Benares.
You're mind's somewhere else today, sister
You didn't take notice of me.
How is it? I just got it made.
Father...
We've to pay our computer class fees?
Why do you want to learn computers?
Didn't this country function without computers?
Where do I get that kind of money?
I can't even buy a bunch of fruits
When I go to the temple...
...the priest gives me a few fruits from the offerings.
And I give those to you and feel relieved.
What you're studying now is all I can afford.
Are you feeling alright?
What's wrong with my health?
I'll take a walk till Pappu's stall.
You can eat your dinner.
Welcome, Mr. Pandey.
Greetings. - Greetings.
Before Assi ghat becomes the Miami beach...
...and the locals and foreigners together ruin this place...
...come and see what a racket these rascals are stirring up.
Go on, Gaya...
If we look in the past, what was was Assi.
What was it?
Am I right, Mr. Pandey?
But as soon as ancient Pandas declared...
...Kashi as the city of righteousness and salvation...
...the kings, noblemen, and trader all around the country...
...starting building their palaces and temples near the banks.
When the temples were built...
...there was also houses built next to it.
So these priests can perform veneration in the temples day and night.
And these priests...kept doing righteous deeds...
...for their benefactors.
They taught astrology, scriptures, Sanskrit to their children.
They never bothered about property or wealth...
...or food or water...or clothing.
There was another aspect to it.
On the basis of these priests...
...they also committed atrocities on their subjects.
No matter what sin you commit or how many...
...but our priests have a solution to cleanse them.
No matter you say...
...these bloody communists will always interfere with their philosophy.
Anyway...
Everything was fine before independence.
Things got worse when landlords were abolished.
Those who couldn't take care of themselves...
...how could they take care of the priests and Brahmins?
So the priest's income came to a stop.
And on the other hand, they had no other means of income.
All their lives, they never did a thing themselves...
...nor allowed their children to do anything.
What's wrong, Mr. Pandey?
Did I say something wrong?
Would you like a glass of water? - No.
What are you hiding?
A month later...I will be jobless.
The school now leads a tutor...
...who can teach Sanskrit as well as English.
I've been told that...
...if I want to take care of the inn, then I will be paid minimal salary.
Savitri, am I only good for keeping an account...
...of the pilgrim's blankets and pillows?
My father didn't teach me English.
The soul of India lies in the language of Sanskrit.
Sanskrit is nectar.
This is what I heard growing up.
And cursed English all my life.
I even kept my children away from English.
And today...
Don't be so disappointed.
There are many other Sanskrit schools in Benares.
And even the foreigners are learning Sanskrit.
Savitri, we'll teach English to our children.
We'll teach our children Sanskrit...as well as English.
One of Barber baba's followers was telling me...
...that Barber baba lifted an 8-kilo globe on his penis, in America.
And threw it in the sand.
The follower must have seen a different globe.
No matter what you say, but Nek's really made it big.
Whoever comes to Assi asks for Barber baba's address.
Bless you...
The entire country is busy watching this drama.
Har Har Mahadev!
How are you, Mr. Upadhyay.
I am still in Assi...
...but you made it to America, Nekram.
If you don't dare, you won't attain wealth, Mr. Upadhyay.
Look, I am turning the entire world into a family.
You're right.
The entire world is my family now.
Money makes all the relations.
I don't see Mr. Pandey.
He must be visiting someone...
...or lecturing somewhere about the country's interest.
Where else?
'Who studies Vedas and literature anymore, Mr. Pandey?'
'It's become an ancient language now.'
'It's still alive because of certain elements...'
'...otherwise, it would've died long ago.'
'The old teacher is still teaching.'
'I'll let you know...when he isn't capable anymore.'
'Until then...you can write a letter for me.'
'I will put in a recommendation for you...'
'...to get you some kind of help.'
Why do you want a new designer shirt?
What's wrong with the old one?
The character makes a man...not his clothes.
Father... water.
What about your computer class?
I'll study later.
I'll collect the money by giving tuitions.
I'm still alive, I'll do something. - Yes, father.
Come... come here.
You're grown up now.
When you were just a kid, you would run and give me a hug.
You haven't given me a hug for a long time now.
Do you have a death wish, priest?
Mr. Pandey.
Who do you want to meet?
Is Mr. Pandey at home?
Are you all going to come in?
You'll wait on ghat, I'll...join you soon.
Baba... - Come in.
Take your shoes off here.
Aren't you Nekram?
Nekram's here.
Go inside.
Greetings, Mr. Pandey.
Neka, you?
Come, sit.
What brings you here?
I went to the ghat to meet everyone.
I didn't see you there, so I thought...I'll come see you at home.
I don't feel too well.
You...
You haven't changed at all, Mr. Pandey.
But you have completely changed.
What are you trying to sell?
Just like actors sell oil and soap...
...cricketers sell clothes, cars, cell phones...
...politicians sell the country and a starving man sells his honesty...
...similarly, I sell knowledge to the foreigners.
When did you learn about knowledge, rascal?
When Catherine was studying Hindi philosophy...
...I was studying the foreigner's language, their needs, demands, dreams...
...and their philosophy.
I wasn't literate...
...but I was a barber after all.
Smoked the pot with the foreigners.
It didn't take me too long that...
...the world is just a big market.
Earlier, there would be a big market in the society.
But there's a society breathing in the market.
Catherine understood this market.
I went to Hrishikesh with Catherine.
Learned some Yoga there...
...and became a teacher.
Later when I arrived in America...
...a simple barber became... Barber Baba.
Are you happy?
Mr. Pandey, I am successful...
...because I can buy all the comforts today.
When I was a kid, I had read...
All qualities can be bought with wealth.
The rich is talented, and the poor...
The poor...
Is a garbage in the society.
Those who worship knowledge starves to death.
And imposters...are worshiped.
Look, I sell knowledge...
...and Catherine explains the world about India.
Can we go watch TV at the neighbors, father?
Go, but come back soon.
Kanni was saying that you wrote books...
...on Benares and… - Yes.
Now, sister-in-law, Cathy is writing a second book on Benares.
And there will be a chapter on Assi...
Who would know about Assi better than you?
But...what do you know about Benares?
Mr. Sahodar, I have statistics.
Pandas, priests, and saints...
...for which Benares was famous for.
In the last few years, there's been a huge difference in their populace.
Don't mind, but I would like to say that...
Varanasi is dying.
So...what do you want?
Hermitages to be filled with prostitutes?
Bulls shitting all over the place?
And the imposters with big beards...
...that are duping people, should be considered as saints?
Calm down, doctor. Don't make a scene.
Why are you getting furious?
She is saying that Benares is dying...
...and you are nodding.
These bloody foreigners are flying across the seven seas...
...for this very Benares
Have some shame.
She's a woman after all.
So what if she's a woman...
...will she pee on my head?
Someone explain on.
I know...hearing curse words and cursing...
...is the culture of Assi.
Goodbye. - Goodbye.
You've done a shameful thing.
My dear friend, Tiwari in Brahmins, camel-ride, old mother...
...cholera disease, bottle gourd vegetable, and Patwaris...
And you can add another name...
American lady...cannot be trusted.
Your anger for America is unjustified.
There are around 2000-2500 foreigners in our city.
And Americans are the least in numbers.
The least in our neighborhood.
Do you know what's happening in our neighborhood?
Business...
The business of Dollars.
Do you know that a number of houses...
...has been bought in this neighborhood in the name of locals.
Fake marriages have been conducted...for visa extension.
Cyber cafes have been opened in a number of homes...
...for their own comfort and communication.
And this is what we call globalization.
They can come and go, or stay here as long as they want.
What is our stature?
But doctor, they are not sitting on our laps.
We're the ones running after them.
We're not just running after them...
...in fact, we're craving to sit in their laps.
A few days later these people will say...
That Assi is becoming useless.
It's sinking... dying...
Give it to us.
We'll make it new...
Shiney...
Today it's Assi...tomorrow Benares...
...later Delhi, and very soon they will have the entire country in their lap.
Later we'll know whose lap we're sitting on?
Mother Yashoda... or Pootna (demon).
Kanni... - Greetings, sir.
Bless you.
How about a betel leaf? - No.
Actually, Kanni... - Please...
You're looking for a tenant!
Mr. Pandey...some rascal put up a board on your door.
That was me. - You.
The world is turning into a global village.
And I don't think beyond Assi...
If I don't take the tradition forward, the university is doing so already.
Tell me if I am wrong.
Yes...
Sir...
Greetings, aunty.
Where do you get these runts every day, you as****
Get lost, or else I will burn your tongue.
The priest's wife.
Hello. - Runaway, a****
She is welcoming you.
Thank you, thank you.
Mr. Pandey called me.
Who is it, Savitri?
So beautiful.
Sir, Marlene is French.
Bloody wretch, doesn't know proper English...or Hindi.
She carries a dictionary with her all the time.
I hope you know the rate here. - Yes, sir.
So...shall we call it a deal?
Very lucky...
Why did that foreigner come with that rascal?
She wants to study Sanskrit.
And where will she stay? - In this house, right here.
Aren't you ashamed of going back on your words?
Until yesterday, you were calling these foreigners unrighteous and non-vedic.
They are filthy, never bathe...
They wipe their asses with paper.
Didn't you use to say that?
And that Dubey had a big home?
So why did you make such a big scene...
...when he wanted to sublet his house to a foreigner?
He was a family man... he also had his wife with him.
Back them neighborhood boys and girls were getting spoilt.
Your religion was getting tainted.
And now...
What are you standing here for? Get lost!
Don't you dare let that foreigner set foot in this house.
I will make your life hell.
Can I ask you something?
Are you jealous of that foreigner? - I am...
And why shouldn't I be?
Are you good for any woman anymore?
If my father wasn't dying in the hospital...
...then, you weren't the only man in my destiny.
I wasn't dying...
...to marry a widower who was 15 years older to me.
Then why are you so worried? - I am worried for the kids.
And am I doing it for myself?
Have you see Jaggu's wife's sari.
And look at yourself.
Look at your ears, nose, and wrist.
Don't I want to see you wearing beautiful saris?
And wear jewelry.
Our daughter gets a good education.
And gets married into a good family.
And when she's in her husband's home...
...her in-laws don't taunt her.
You've already had the pleasure of studying Sanskrit.
What more do you want?
Your children to sit on the ghat as well.
You never compromised in your life...so why not?
When the wheel of time turns...
...it's your principle that gets crushed first.
Poverty crushes everything.
We can minimalize our needs instead of increasing them.
Who are you?
And what will you reduce?
What will you eat yourself and feed your children?
Which necessity will you reduce?
Kanni is coming over for dinner tonight.
Prudence is that if he's taking care of us...
...we should take care of him!
(Chanting)
The Lord of Death told Nachiketa...
Nachiketa, it's not necessary that the path your heart likes...
...is the right path.
And so...the learned people chooses the path of honesty...
...over the path that gives comfort.
I don't like letting a foreigner live in our home.
You can let her stay in Upadhyay or Dubey's house.
They always wanted that.
And she can come and study here.
Am I an as****
You want me to give them 15,000 rupees every month.
15,000?
15,000 rupees...
Count it...
A single day's rent is 500 rupees...
So how much for a month?
And that's my share of the rent.
If she lives here, who gets the rent.
Not 200...
Also add up 150 rupees per hour for the tuition as well.
How much is that?
4,500. - 500 is Kanni's commission.
And add 15,000 to this amount.
So how much?
19,000? - And you want me to earn only 4000.
And give 15,000 to Upadhyay or Dubey.
Could there be a bigger fool than me in this world?
There's another thing.
It's not necessary that she will live for only 6 months.
If she is pleased by our behavior...
...then, she might rent out the house for a year or even more.
And even if she leaves...
...we can get around 1000 or 1500 in the season, per day.
That's what Kanni was saying.
But we don't have room to sublet.
We've only two rooms. Where will she stay?
On the roof? - The roof?
Will she pass through the courtyard.
And where on the roof will she live? - Don't worry.
I've spoken to Kanni.
We'll take three months advance...
...and get a room set up in a month.
You'll build a room, but how will she come and go.
You're such a strange woman.
You won't live...or let others live in peace!
Hail Sri Ram!
Come in, Kanni.
Greetings, uncle.
Greetings, aunty.
Go and offer sweets to Lord Hanuman!
And get all the materials for the building...
...and start building a room tomorrow.
I'm paying you to advance in the evening.
I will forever be indebted to you, Kanni.
But tell her not to be hasty.
I've checked with the holy book.
And fixed the time and direction.
The room we'll build on the roof will be facing east.
Towards the Ganga.
Windows on all three sides.
She can see Benares from all sides.
I will try to build the room in a month. - Month?
You'll take a month for a week's job?
A week for building a room with attached bathroom.
How can anyone do it, Kanni? - Let me show you.
Look, this room needs no repairs, it's perfect.
You just need to attach a bathroom.
Fix a tap in this adjoining small room.
Fix a shower, and a western toilet as well.
Put in a rod for hanging towels.
There's a sewer-line outside, just get it connected to that.
How long do you think will that take? - What are you saying, Kanni?
That's not just a room, it's Lord Mahadev's home.
I pray here every day.
And everyone who passes through here, offer water, flowers.
Mr. Pandey, Lord Shiv isn't like Lord Ram...
...that he'll stay fixed in one place, and won't budge.
He's a wandering God. A God of his wishes.
Along with Nandi.
He's either on Kailash or on Kashi.
Today He's in a room...
...tomorrow He will be on the roof.
What can you do? Am I wrong?
Kanni...listen to me carefully.
Lord Mahadev is the deity of every house in Kashi.
The head of the family.
He will stay wherever He wants.
And He won't seek your permission for it.
Aunty...
I am only thinking about your interest.
Imagine...bed tea, morning tea, afternoon tea, evening tea, breakfast, lunch, dinner...
And many other demands.
How many times will you climb the stairs in a day?
Is that all you'll day in a day?
I'll do that... I'll do everything.
It's my responsibility.
Mr. Pandey, I didn't want to say it.
But now listen carefully.
See this window opening towards Ganga.
Marlene is paying 500 rupees a day for this window.
And not for your room or your food.
She has only one wish, that she has an attached bathroom to her room.
So what is your problem...
...in turning that room into a bathroom.
Anyway, you're a Brahmin and I am a Brahmin.
My clan is superior to yours. Sandil.
You're a learned man. You've read the Vedas and scriptures.
Think...
If some non-vedic person lives next to Lord Mahadev...
...will He ever tolerate it?
He will run away himself.
Anyway, it was my duty to talk about your interest.
Now the decision is completely on you.
Think about it.
I am coming tomorrow with Marlene, in the evening.
With three months advance.
Hail Sri Ram.
Savitri.
You don't worry.
I'll increase Kanni's commission.
Savitri.
Make lemon tea for Marlene.
Savitri, make some hot water for Marlene.
Savitri...Marlene is bathing.
Finish up your mopping and sweeping.
Savitri, Marlene is finishing with her tuitions.
She wants to have tea.
Marlene went to Sarnath yesterday.
Today she will be going to Ram Nagar.
She will have lunch early today.
She's bored of eating the same old bread, rice and vegetables.
No Savitri, there should be some change.
Anything.
Goodnight is pronounced as 'Subhratri' in Sanskrit.
Subhratri! - Good.
Check the bed.
If the blanket's dirty, change it.
How is your paying guest?
Does she wash her undergarments herself...
...or does she do it?
Run away a****
Oh my, look at her attitude.
Such attitude...
Dharamnath! Where are you?
You swine, donkey, bloody fool.
Pandey. Come out of your house.
Get up!
I've run out of patience.
The place where you've kept me, is that a temple or a matchbox?
I, who dwells on the peak of Himalayas, under the open sky...
...where there's clean air, cold breeze.
And you've kept me here, on the ground.
Near the sewer, which reeks of piss and shit.
How dare you keep me in that tin can.
I feel suffocated in that room.
If you know what's best for you...
...then take me out in the open skies right now.
Where there's sunlight, run, the sun, the moon, and stars.
And the constellations.
Get up and take me there right now.
I can't muster the courage.
What will the people say?
Will you listen to Me or the people?
Do you see my third eye?
I am scared because...she is a foreigner.
You studied the Vedas, the scriptures... and much more...
...yet you're still so stupid.
I created humans, and not Hindus or Muslims or Christians.
You made them.
Go and explain that to the society.
Now get up, and take me there.
Come on.
Baba.
Mr. Pandey...
Mr. Pandey...what's going on?
Bricks, sand, cement...
What do I say, Mr. Upadhyay?
Last night Lord Shiva visited me in my dreams.
He was furious.
He was saying that I feel suffocated in this small chamber.
He said take me up to the roof.
Where there's open sky, the moon, stars...and the sun.
This is a miracle, Mr. Pandey.
Lord Shiva's been telling me for so long...
I should worry about human's dwelling place...
...I can live anywhere.
But I wasn't saying anything because I was scared of you.
Now that Lord Shiva has ordered you...
...then it's been decided.
Listen, Tiwari...
Dubey... Chaubey... where are you?
Listen, everyone come out...
This is truly unbelievable.
It's a miracle.
Miracle.
Har Har Mahadev...
For the last couple of months...
...Lord Mahadev has been telling me to relocate him under a tree.
This place stinks.
But I wasn't listening.
But in order to atone, I am arranging for a big veneration at my home.
Please come.
Unbelievable... Mr. Pandey, unbelievable.
Just two days ago Lord Shiva was telling me...
...that bloody Tiwari relocate me somewhere near Ganga, on the ghat.
But how could I believe a dream?
But what should I say?
So tomorrow I will arrange for a big veneration...
...and relocate Lord Shiva.
Do come and collect the offerings.
Goodbye.
Har Har Mahadev!
But by tomorrow everyone in Assi...
...would've seen the same dream.
Go...stop them.
Or else our Lord will be homeless tomorrow.
Savitri...
Sir, the phallus broke while I was trying to remove it.
Mr. Pandey...
Mr. Pandey, did you see the holy book.
There's an auspicious day tomorrow.
I am thinking about relocating Lord Shiva to the town square...
...with great pomp and merry.
What moment have you chosen?
Upadhyay, Shiva's phallus broke while it was being moved.
Hey man, what are you doing here?
Get back to your work.
Mr. Pandey, you're sad.
You should rejoice, Lord Shiva is blessing you with His grace.
He's leaving your home Himself.
You should prepare to send Him off grandly.
Call your friends, arrange for a feast.
Celebrate...
And then build a room upstairs and sublet it... - Mr. Upadhyay.
We are not going to celebrate...
...or organize any feast.
Please leave.
Har Har Mahadev!
Mr. Pandey...
Come, there's a religious meeting.
Everyone's been summoned.
Har Har Mahadev!
Tiwari.
Tiwari. - What's wrong, Upadhyay?
There's a religious gathering.
If Dharamnath Padwa changes his decision...
...we will lose everything.
Let's go.
They are not ready to listen.
Calm down.
I will teach everyone in Assi a lesson...
...but won't let a single statue be relocated.
How can I believe that Lord Shiva visited you in your dreams?
This isn't right?
Why can't Lord Shiva come in my dreams?
Do you have proof that Lord Shiva ordered you in your dreams?
Where can I get a certificate to prove my dreams?
This is like...getting a birth certificate of Lord Ram.
Isn't that right, Tiwari?
You want to turn Assi into another Ayodhya.
And even if you want to...then listen to me first.
What was Kashi?
It was just a big crematorium ground
Will you guys let Mr. Pandey say something or not?
What do you want to say?
Since I was a kid, I've heard...
...that He dwells in every element.
Now, where do I get a certificate...
...which states that He dwells in every element.
Exactly...
He dwells in air, water...fire.
Where do we get a certificate proving that he lives in air and water?
Don't make excuses, Mr. Pandey?
And answer me this...
...how dare you relocate Lord Shiva from His place?
No one will dare say a word against Mr. Pandey.
Every day, every morning, thousands of people...
...make Shiva's phallus from Ganga's soil.
They worship it and immerse it in Ganga again.
But does anyone ask them for any evidence?
It's between us and Lord Mahadev.
Who are you to interfere?
We dreamt about him, not you.
Every element in Kashi is Shiv Shankar.
Kasha is nothing else, but Lord Mahadev.
Now where do we get evidence about it?
Everything in this universe is Lord Shiva.
Which a***** will get evidence certifying it?
Har Har Mahadev!
Come...it's all be settled.
This religious gathering is nothing more...
...than India's political parliament
Why wouldn't they listen?
Please come with your family.
Hail Sri Ram.
Radheshyam, do you see these imposters and their charade.
Now tell me...who is going to burn their effigies?
I will...
And their funeral too.
But you must celebrate.
Because Assi has sunk today.
One that never lost to anyone...
...was finally defeated by life itself.
As**** SP Mishra, Assi, Kashi's soul has been kidnaped today.
What ransom are you going to give for it?
Your Assi is being auctioned in the world's market.
Celebrate...
Pappu...
Tea for everyone for Assi's funeral
Eat your food
I am not hungry.
Even a starving man...commits a sin.
That's what I read.
And I couldn't face my own fears for few days.
What have I done, Savitri?
And I couldn't face my own fears for few days.
My principles and ideals...
...which I fought for through thick and think...
...couldn't stand up to our basic necessities, to greed.
What has happened to me?
We're breaking our temples and mosques with our own hands.
I chucked my own Baba from my home.
Just like someone leaves their old parents in Kashi.
Similarly, I betrayed my Lord.
What has happened to me, Savitri?
What has happened to me?
Can I say something?
I never read the Ramcharitra Manas...
...for attaining something in return.
The Ramcharitra Manas gives me strength to fight.
That's why I keep reading it.
I never prayed to Lord Ram...
...to protect me from sorrows and problems.
But yes, I always prayed...
...to give us the strength to defend against sorrows.
Just watch, dear...
We will fight against this problem as well.
Har Har Mahadev!
Savitri, look what I got?
'Just like the river currents...'
'...even life finds a way.'
Mr. Pandey, can I get some sandalwood.
Take all you want.
Everything belongs to Mahadev.
'Pandey and the imposter are now friends.'
'Savitri and Marlene are now friends.'
'Marlene is now a part of Pandey's family.'
'Kanni guru is helping the gurus...'
'...to turn Assi into America, for whom the country and the world...'
'...is just another market.'
'And people are consumers.'
'Baba's hermitage and channel are functioning.'
'In this era where ideals are changing...'
'...the Pandey family is trying to save the truth, which is beautiful, and that which is Shiv.'
"Hail Bhole."
"O Mother Ganga..."
"O Ganga...stay..."
"...why do you severe ties and flow away?"
"Stay some day... Stay here..."
"...why do you severe ties and flow away?"
"O Ganga...stay..."
"...why do you severe ties and flow away?"
"O Ganga...stay..."
"Stay some day... Stay here..."
"...why do you severe ties and flow away?"
"Stay some day..."
"Stay some day... Stay here..."
"Hail Ganga..."
"The neighborhood of Assi..."
"...is a place of unity."
"And a place...of sounds from around the world."
"Pappu's stall..."
'...day and night..."
"Pappu's stall..."
'...day and night...and the newspapers..."
"...and the news from around the world."
"...the news from around the world."
"Once you sit there...he gets glued there."
"Never leaves..."
"Once you sit there...he gets glued there."
"And once you get glued...he never moves."
"O Ganga...stay..."
"...why do you severe ties and flow away?"
"O Ganga...stay..."
"...why do you severe ties and flow away?"
"Hail Ganga..."
"Sins and merits..."
"...or chanting of mantras."
"A hereditary ailment..."
"...or the heat of the body, to wash away in this water."
"And some have come here to meditate."
"Some to wash away in the water..."
"...and some have come here to meditate."
"Har Har Mahadev."
"Har Har Mahadev... cleanses all.."
"When you come to the banks and cleanses..."
"...and listens to the chant of 'Hari Bol'."
"Hari Bol..."
"When one finally lies on his pyre."
"Hari Bol..."
"One can find paradise here."
"Stay some day... Stay here..."
"Stay some day..."
"Hail Ganga..."
"O Ganga...stay..."
"...why do you severe ties and flow away?"
"Hail Ganga..."